How Come?

(Now I know as well as anyone that “how come” is not great grammar. You may then be wondering how come I chose to use “how come” instead of “why,” and that’s a legitimate cause for question. The answer, dear reader, is emphasis. Almost always when I use poor grammar intentionally it is to call attention to what I’m saying. I have always assumed others used this same method. Now I’m learning that people (and by this I mean adult people) use poor grammar because they know no better! Oops! All this time I’ve been giving them the benefit of the doubt while they have probably thought that I’m just a country bumpkin who knows no better than to use poor grammar! Trust me. Poor grammar rarely comes from me due to ignorance – sloppiness occasionally, to draw attention frequently, but not knowing better extremely rarely.)

How come it’s wrong for me to make or take the occasional personal call at my desk but perfectly all right for my boss and coworkers to spend inordinate amounts of time at my boss’s desk (right next to mine) talking about their fantasy football/basketball/baseball/tiddlywinks leagues?

How come many of my acquaintances made fun of me when I insisted on investing my retirement monies in a conservative way but now don’t want to talk about it anymore?

How come my next door neighbor Gladys put up a privacy screen between our two back yards when I have never once gone over to her yard to talk to her when she’s out gardening, but as soon as I set foot in my back yard she comes over to tell me how my lawn care should be handled, what the history of the neighborhood is, what the latest neighborhood gossip is, and questioning why she so seldom sees me out in the yard?

How come when gas prices go up they go up in dime increments but when they go down they only go down two or three cents at a time?

How come it isn’t considered illegal collusion when every gas station, regardless of brand, has the exact same price all over town even when the price changes every few days?

How come W is only willing to take N for a haircut if I pay for the haircut when he isn’t even paying child support?

How come I’ve been letting my frustrations fester rather than blogging them like I used to do?