Sunday, October 18, 2015

R.I.P. W

Just for those who maybe don't know me in real life or on Facebook, I thought I should post here that W died earlier this month.

It did not come as a big surprise. It was sad in some ways but not sad in others. It has been a not very well kept secret in our circle that I had been tolerating him the last few years, particularly since we got back together after our separation several years ago. In some ways, I miss him and will continue to miss him. I was used to him being around. I was used to him taking care of certain things so I didn't have to.

On the not sad side, it was a relief. It felt immediately like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. It feels like freedom.  I kept my wedding rings on until a couple of days after the memorial service, and that was that. I took them off. With them on the freedom was incomplete. Also, I half-heartedly signed up with I'm not paying so I have very limited use of it, but it has given me an idea of who is out there should I decide to pursue a new relationship in the future. Not ready for that now, but maybe in the future. Maybe...

That's it for now. Maybe I'll write more later. Maybe not. Who knows?