Friday, May 29, 2009

Sunday Stealing: The A to Z Meme

• Are you available?
Well, now I suppose that’d depend on who’s asking and for what.
• What is your age? 48
• What annoys you? Drivers who cut me off on the interstate for no discernable reason. Then I proceed to annoy them by flipping them off as I pass them.

• Do you know anyone named Billy?
Used to, back in grade school.
• When is your birthday? April 22
• Who is your best friend? Oh dear, back to that pesky friends thing again are we? Pfft. . .

• What's your favorite candy?
Milk chocolate
• Crush? Currently Hugh Jackman
• When was the last time you cried? A few nights ago when I was watching All My Children. Adam was visiting his dead twin brother in the morgue. Heartwrenching.

• Do you daydream?
Umm. . . just about all the time is all.
• What's your favorite kind of dog? Basset Hounds
• What day of the week is it? Friday (which is a bit late for Sunday Stealing so don’t tell anybody, ‘k?)

• How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled, or better yet as an omelet with lots of veggies and cheese to cover the taste of the egg.
• Have you ever been in the emergency room? Twice just last year.
• Ever pet an elephant? As a matter of fact not only have I petted one, I’ve ridden one!

• Do you use fly swatters?
Doesn’t everyone?
• Have you ever used a foghorn? No.
• Is there a fan in your room? Yes.

• Do you chew gum?
Too much.
• Do you like gummy candies? Yechh.
• Do you like gory movies? Double Yechh.

• How are you?
Fine, how are you?
• What's your height? 5’ 7”
• What color is your hair? Brown with a few stray grays

• What's your favorite ice cream?
Peanut Butter Chocolate
• Have you ever ice skated? Nope
• Ever been in an igloo? Nope

• What's your favorite Jelly Bean?
Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn
• Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? Yeah.
• Do you wear jewelry? Sometimes

• Who do you want to kill?
• Have you ever flown a kite? Yes
• Do you think kangaroos are cute? They’re ok, but penguins are cuter.

• Are you laidback?
• Lions or Tigers? Lions, king of the jungle
• Do you like black licorice? Sometimes

• Favorite movie as a kid?
The Wizard of Oz
• Ever shopped at Moosejaw? Never even heard of it!
• Favorite store at the mall? I hate malls, but if I have to choose I guess Sears.

• Do you have a nickname?
No, but I wish I did
• Whats your favorite number? 7
• Do you prefer night or day? Night. I’m a night owl. Add that to my sensitivity to the sun and it gives me a strong preference for night.

• What's your one wish?
To run for office someday
• Are you an only child? Nope, although there are times when I think I would prefer it.
• Do you like the color orange? Yes, particularly partnered with blue!

• What are you most paranoid about?
Falling and getting hurt.
• Piercings? Two, one in each earlobe.
• Do you know anyone named Penelope? Not personally, but I’ve seen some on TV.

• Are you quick to judge people?
Too much so sometimes.
• Do you like Quaker Oats? The store brand is just as good and cheaper.
• Know anyone that makes quilts? Yes, several.

• Do you think you're always right?
Of course I am! (You didn’t doubt that I could resist answering this question that way, did you?)
• Do you watch reality TV? Too much.
• Reason to cry? It’s an emotional release.

• Do you prefer sun or rain?
Sun, well except for that pesky sun sensitivity thing again.
• Do you like snow? Gracious no. No snow is good snow.
• What's your favorite season? Spring when the flowers bloom, the birds return, and the pollen works its magic on my nose and throat. Okay, maybe I don't like that last thing so much, but the rest makes up for it.

• time is it?
6:00 p.m.
• What time did you wake up? 6:00 a.m.

• Can you ride a unicycle?
Never tried, but given how klutzy I am I would say no.
• Do you know anyone with a unibrow? Unattended I would have one.
• Uncles do you have? Had two, one died, so now only one.

• What’s the worst vegetable?
Brussels sprouts. They are the only vegetable I can honestly say I don’t like, and not only do I not like them I despise them. They are vile and evil.
• Did you ever watch Veggie Tales? Absolutely! Just speaking of it makes me want to break into song: We are the pirates who don’t do anything!
• Ever considered being vegan? Not only did I consider it I did it for about two years, but it was just too hard to give up the dairy and eggs. Try as I might I couldn’t find substitutes for either that really did it for me.

• What's your worst habit?
Picking my nose
• Do you like water rides? Oh yeah
• Ever been inside a windmill? Nope

• Have you ever had an x-ray?
• Ever used a Xerox machine? Not sure if I’ve ever used a Xerox brand machine, but I’ve used a number of copiers in my time.

• Do you like the color yellow?
Not particularly
• What year were you born in? The year after the one when JFK Jr. was born
• Do you yell when you're angry? Not often, but occasionally. I’m more likely to speak in a low firm voice than yell.

• Do you believe in the zodiac?
Not really, although I do find it interesting to read it occasionally.
• What's your zodiac sign? Taurus
• When was the last time you went to the zoo? A couple of years ago

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Ah. . . High School

I saw this on somebody's blog a while back, stole it and have been holding onto it to post in honor of the 30th anniversary of my high school graduation. Yes, 30 years ago this week I graduated 6th in my class. And now without further ado, some memories from way back then. . .

1. Did you date someone from your school? Oh yes, many, many, many. . .

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? Hell no.

3. Did you car pool to school? Given that I lived a little less than two blocks from the school I mostly walked.

4. What kind of car did you have? My parents' old 1968 Buick LeSabre with black vinyl seats and a broken air conditioner.

5. What kind of car do you have now? A black Pontiac Aztec.

6. It's Friday night...where are you (then)? Cruising with friends or bowling with J followed by parking on our favorite back road northwest of town.

7. It is Friday night...where are you (now)? At home, watching shows I've Tivoed throughout the week.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? Babysitting.

9. What kind of job do you do now? Bean counter.

10. Were you a party animal? Not in high school, but definitely the first couple of years in college.

11. Were you considered a flirt? My entire life. ;-)

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Choir one year, band three.

13. Were you a nerd? 100%

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? OMG no. I would've died of embarassment if I had.

15. Can you sing the fight song? Umm. . . did we have one of those?

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Mr. Clinton because he was the only teacher who ever appreciated the talent I have of writing in mirror image. He even let me turn in my geometry homework that way.

17. Where did you sit during lunch? Generally at home on the sofa watching "All My Children".

18. What did you eat at lunch? Whatever I made when I got home -- sandwich, soup, Spaghetti-O's, leftovers, whatever was around.

19. When did you graduate? 1979

20. What was your school mascot? An orphan. No really. I know you don't believe me so you can even see for yourself on my high school's website.

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Without hesitation.

22. Did you have fun at Prom? I didn't go. . . a fact I have yet to let J live down.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? I still talk to J, but since we didn't go to prom I don't know if that counts.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? Absofreakinglutely! Already have the plans made, and BJ's going with me.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? Umm. . . well I didn't for the first 20-some years, but I've gotten back in touch with several in the last few years.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Hypothetical Question of the Day

Facts of the situation:
Robin is a single person
Pat is a married person
Pat’s spouse cannot have sex for medical reasons.
Pat desires sex.
Robin desires sex.
Pat expresses desire to Robin disclosing Pat’s spouse’s condition and that Pat has no other feelings for Robin beyond friendship.
Robin enters into an FWB relationship with Pat.
Both Pat and Robin remain discreet in their relationship so that no one else knows.

Has either Robin or Pat done anything wrong here?

All characters presented herein are fictional and a product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.

Friday, May 22, 2009


I am so out of here for the holiday weekend so in spite of the fact that I have a somewhat meatier post what you get today is just a compilation of little thoughts, presented in no particular order, which I am saving here for myself so when I look back through this blog many years from now I’ll remember what my life was like at this point in time.

• N’s soccer team went undefeated in their spring season. It has amazed me to see how well this team has pulled together this year. There are some really good soccer players on that team. Last night N had a couple of good saves when he was playing goalie, and when he wasn’t playing goalie he scored one of his team’s goals in a 4-2 win. I never cared for soccer until N started playing. Now I’m even learning some of the nuances of some of the calls (though offsides is still something of a mystery to me).
• One sign that N is growing up is that we are giving away the swing set in the backyard. He never plays on it anymore and tells me he’s outgrown such childish things. Sigh. . .
• Yesterday was the first day of truly nice weather this year – blue skies, warm temperature, gentle breeze. How I wish I could have spent more time than my lunch hour outside, and I look forward to the end of the work day today (as soon as I finish this post!) so I can get back out there.
• I was just listening to one of my favorite pieces of music – Vivaldi’s Concerto in C Major for Mandolin and Strings. It’s one of many fine pieces on the CD “Top Hits of 1750.” I love that title! How different it must have been to have a “Top Hit” in 1750 than it is now. I have to admit though that based on the CD I would say that 1750 was a very good year for music!
• I would love to own a harpsichord.
• W has agreed to watch N after school next year saving me over $1,200 in after school care fees. He seems to think I should be ever so grateful to him for such a generous move on his part. Pony up some child support buddy, and then I’ll be grateful.
• I miss playing music, singing, and acting. I must find myself a community theater group in which I can become involved. I need an outlet for the fine arts side of me.
• I discovered, the hard way of course, just how right the warning on one of my medications is. It warned that increased sensitivity to sunlight is one of the possible side effects. The sunburn I received almost four weeks ago is still peeling. Everywhere I go I leave DNA evidence (making the CSI’s job easier as they follow my trail of debauchery and devastation) as my skin falls off in lovely white flakes from my arms. Henceforth, and from now on, I will wear sunblock when outdoors during the day. In addition, I’ve considered long sleeves and scarves outdoors. I may look like I came straight from the Middle East all wrapped in clothing from head to toe, but at least I won’t be red and flaky!
• Of all the possible side effects listed for this medication, why did I get the increased sensitivity to sunlight instead of the decreased appetite? Can’t a girl catch a break occasionally? Oh that’s right, apparently the answer to that question is NO.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Life Imitates Art

Have you ever watched a movie or TV show, perhaps a soap opera, and been extremely frustrated that the guy and the girl are oblivious to what is plain as day to the viewer? You know, like the couple that obviously loves each other but keeps messing things up and not saying what they’re really feeling and so they keep missing the point that they are meant for each other. Or the couple that to the audience clearly needs to go their separate ways but instead each one hides things from the other and they stay in misery with one another. Then there’s the couple who just seem to barely miss each other at every turn, misinterpret every move, and just generally make things too darned hard. If you aren’t familiar with such scenes then watch any of the following movies, or countless others like them:
It Happened One Night
The Philadelphia Story
An Affair to Remember
Sleepless in Seattle

Or if you’re into soaps, just watch All My Children. Erika and Jack’s relationship is an ongoing example. So was Tad and Dixie until Dixie died. . . again. Most recently, of course, there’s Zach and Kendall. There are about a million other examples from this soap and I’m sure from any other you’d care to watch.

Every time I watch one of those scenes where they are messing everything up by not saying that one thing they ought to say, or by saying the wrong thing, or by deliberately misleading the other as they deny to themselves the truth of the situation, I roll my eyes and if there’s someone else in the room say “That is so unrealistic. All they need to do is ____________, and the whole thing’s resolved, which is what would totally (because I use “totally” much too often thanks to picking up that bad habit from N) happen in real life. Nobody would be that dense and oblivious to the obvious.”

Then again, sometimes life imitates art. . .

Monday, May 18, 2009

Sunday Stealing: The 29'er Meme

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Power because of the evil company that provides it. I wish we had a choice rather than having to deal with the evil monopoly.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? It’s been too long to remember.

3. How many colleges did you attend? Just one, for four-and-a-half years and two degrees.

4. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? It has long sleeves and fits well.

5. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? How warm I was in bed and how cold my arm felt when I reached out to hit the Snooze button.

6. Last thought before going to sleep last night? How good it felt to be sleeping on clean sheets.

7. What do you miss being a child? My imagination. It faded somewhere along the line of growing up and I envy N’s.

8. What errand/chore do you despise? Cleaning toilets. It literally makes me gag.

9. Have you found real love yet? Sometimes I wonder. . .

10. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? Nauseous. I go as infrequently as possible to the Evil Empire and buy as little there as possible.

11. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? No.

12. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Paula Poundstone.

13. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? Nope.

14. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? San Diego.

15. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? Both are too damned difficult to even think about right now.

16. Do you have a “go to” person? Nope.

17. Are you where you want to be in life? Nope.

18. Over the years, what about you do you think has changed the most? My increased cynicism.

19. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life? Absofreakinglutely!

20. Are there times you still feel like a kid? I try, but someone always brings me down.

21. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager? The parking lot of the shopping plaza.

22. Who do you think impacted your life the most? My mom.

23. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you? Not particularly.

24. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age”? More often than I care to admit.

25. What is the scariest thing that has happened to you as an adult? Getting hit by a car as I walked across the parking lot.

26. What advice would you give to someone about to get married? Make sure you really know the person you are marrying.

27. What advice would you give someone starting their first job? Go one step beyond what is required of you, but without boasting about doing it.

28. If you could go back and change one thing you did, what would it be? Marrying W.

29. If you could go back and change one thing someone else did, what would it be? J marrying is third wife.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Dwelling Too Much

Sometimes I dwell on things too much. Sometimes I think too much. Sometimes I wonder if I could just shut off my brain occasionally if I wouldn’t be in a better place. You know, something akin to the “Ignorance is bliss” theory.

Also, I’m a reader, an avid reader. When I find a blog that I enjoy reading then I read it completely, going back in the archives and working my way forward. Sometimes I do so all at once. Sometimes it takes time, going back time and again until I’m caught up to the present day.

Add to that the fact I have a fairly decent (far from perfect) memory so that I pretty well know the basics that were relayed in a blog’s history even if I don’t remember the details.

Now, put all those things together, and sometimes I can just darned near drive myself crazy going over and over and over things, trying to put pieces together. I try to make the pieces fit together so that the picture they make is the one I want to see. Sometimes the reality is that the picture made from the puzzle is of the Eiffel Tower and no matter how badly you want to see the London Bridge you cannot put the puzzle together in such a way as to make it be a picture of London Bridge.

Hmmm. . . . took a little time after writing that last paragraph to read it again and reread it and think some about it. There’s some wisdom there (who woulda thunk such a thing could come from me?), and I had to spend some time letting it roll around in my brain. Okay, so now you have a picture of the Eiffel Tower when you really wanted a picture of London Bridge and thought from the box it came in that’s what you were getting. You don’t have exactly what you want, but you sure can’t change one into the other. It is what it is. You have to decide if you are pleased enough with the picture of the Eiffel Tower to keep it and forget about looking for a picture of London Bridge, or if you are going to rid yourself of the picture of the Eiffel Tower so that you can search for a real picture of London Bridge. Do you keep the picture of the Eiffel Tower in hopes that in time it will take on more characteristics of the London Bridge? Do you pretend you really wanted a picture of the Eiffel Tower all along and try to forget about the desire for the picture of London Bridge? Do you throw away the picture of the Eiffel Tower even if you don’t know if you will ever find a picture of London Bridge?

See? Dwelling too much. . .

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How Come?

(Now I know as well as anyone that “how come” is not great grammar. You may then be wondering how come I chose to use “how come” instead of “why,” and that’s a legitimate cause for question. The answer, dear reader, is emphasis. Almost always when I use poor grammar intentionally it is to call attention to what I’m saying. I have always assumed others used this same method. Now I’m learning that people (and by this I mean adult people) use poor grammar because they know no better! Oops! All this time I’ve been giving them the benefit of the doubt while they have probably thought that I’m just a country bumpkin who knows no better than to use poor grammar! Trust me. Poor grammar rarely comes from me due to ignorance – sloppiness occasionally, to draw attention frequently, but not knowing better extremely rarely.)

How come it’s wrong for me to make or take the occasional personal call at my desk but perfectly all right for my boss and coworkers to spend inordinate amounts of time at my boss’s desk (right next to mine) talking about their fantasy football/basketball/baseball/tiddlywinks leagues?

How come many of my acquaintances made fun of me when I insisted on investing my retirement monies in a conservative way but now don’t want to talk about it anymore?

How come my next door neighbor Gladys put up a privacy screen between our two back yards when I have never once gone over to her yard to talk to her when she’s out gardening, but as soon as I set foot in my back yard she comes over to tell me how my lawn care should be handled, what the history of the neighborhood is, what the latest neighborhood gossip is, and questioning why she so seldom sees me out in the yard?

How come when gas prices go up they go up in dime increments but when they go down they only go down two or three cents at a time?

How come it isn’t considered illegal collusion when every gas station, regardless of brand, has the exact same price all over town even when the price changes every few days?

How come W is only willing to take N for a haircut if I pay for the haircut when he isn’t even paying child support?

How come I’ve been letting my frustrations fester rather than blogging them like I used to do?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Getting Me

Growing up, there were two people in the entire world who I thought really understood me, just two people who really got what I was all about and understood and cared and realized the rest of the world didn’t really get me. Neither of these people was around as often as I would have liked. Never did I ever have any direct conversation with them about the fact that they got me like no one else. Somehow though I knew. I knew that they saw inside of me in a way no others did. They saw who I really was, understood who I really was, and appreciated me for who I really was. Neither of them ever tried to change me. Both of those people are dead now, have been for many years, and so far in my life I have found nobody else who can understand me the way those two did. Maybe it was because I carried a little of each of them within me. Maybe it was because they took the time to really know me. Maybe it was because they were kindred spirits and more like me than I ever realized at the time.

The two people about whom I’m writing are two of my grandparents – my paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather. Interestingly, these two people while having some commonalities in background were mostly night and day, particularly their personalities, at least the sides of their personalities they showed to me as I grew up.

Grandma was as steady as granite. She knew what needed to be done and set about doing it. I never heard her complain about anyone or anything. There just wasn’t time in her day for it, just as there was little time in her day for anything that didn’t further the running of the farm. I rarely knew her to take a break, and even if she sat down she was working on something, perhaps making a quilt or mending clothes or crocheting a doily or snapping green beans for dinner or pitting cherries for pie. If she sat without working it was likely because she was eating a meal or visiting with neighbors who dropped by. Even then, though, she’d be up and down to take care of one thing or another.

On the other hand, Granddaddy was a great lover of fun and jokes and tall tales. He wasn’t afraid of hard work, but he didn’t go out of his way to look for it either. He liked to sit and talk and tell stories of his adventures as a small town cab driver and the people he carried here and there. Nothing made him happier than to make his grandchildren laugh and squeal with delight as he teased them and played with them. He didn’t like to wear his teeth unless he was working, and he always took them out to eat which seemed backwards to everybody but him. Also, he liked what he called the “fat meat” from a steak or a roast. While everyone else was eating the lean meat he would eat the fat that he had cut off before the meat was served. If nothing else, Granddaddy was a character, and to me as a child he seemed larger than life not at all because of his stature (I think he was 5’ 9”) but because of his way of being, his expressive gestures, his boisterous humor, and his zest for living life.

For all their differences though these two people seemed to get me. Even if they didn’t understand me (although I certainly felt they understood me) they at least accepted me for who I was and never tried to change me or improve me. Neither of them ever commented on my weight. Neither of them ever spoke down to me as though as a child I could never understand adult conversations. Neither of them treated me as though I were anything other than a full fledged person, worthy of dignity and respect. I told secrets to both of them, secrets they never shared with anyone else. I shared lots of one on one time with each of them whenever I had the chance and would tell them of my dreams for my future. They never laughed or scoffed at any of my ideas but would encourage me to reach for every dream. They wanted so much for their grandchildren to have wonderful lives. They were both very encouraging to me, and interestingly, it was their acceptance of me just as I was that was most encouraging. I didn't have to change a thing to be just fine in their eyes. All I had to do was be me, whoever I happened to be at that point in time, and whoever I chose to become as I matured. When I was with either of them I was okay. I felt that it was okay to be me and to reach out for my dreams because they supported that notion in me. At other times I was shunned and the outcast and not good enough, but with either of them I was just fine the way I was.

I loved them more than any of my other relatives. I did not appreciate them when they were here nearly as much as I should have. I miss both of them, particularly Grandma. She was such a role model to me of what a woman could be – steadfast, strong, competent, compassionate, gentle, and appreciative. I wish I could be just a fraction of what she was.

If I were a real writer I would have some nice summarizing paragraph to close this out. As it is, with me just a lowly accountant who loves numbers way more than words, I’ve got nothing but the tears that keep forming unbidden as I write. I’ll end this post like I used to end papers I wrote in grade school:


Monday, May 11, 2009

Jumping Back into the Deep End

So I debated a bit before posting this. I weighed the possible consequences before deciding to go ahead and post this and decided that I wasn’t being true to myself or to my original purpose to this blog – sharing those deepest darkest thoughts I can’t give voice to in real life – if I chose to censor myself on this. It is interesting that I started writing here with the idea that I was writing for myself and not for others so I could share anything. That worked for a long time, until I started to meet and care about other bloggers and to care what they thought of me. I need to get back to that original purpose so that this blog doesn’t turn into “Memes R Us” or “All Fluff All the Time” as it has been lately. I will feel bad if my topics cause some readers to leave or to ream me in the comments or email, but I will survive. Things are what they are and no meme, no internet quiz, no freakin’ haiku is going to adequately serve me and my purposes here. None of those comes close to giving voice to my deepest and darkest and most unspoken thoughts.

BJ and I have what I would call a semi-open relationship. We are each free to “have fun” with others as long as it is with permission of the other one. We have agreed that mostly this will be with us together but occasionally may mean one or the other of us individually. For the most part I’m good with that. For the most part. Most of the time. I don’t know if we ever specifically made an agreement, or if based on discussions I assumed we had an agreement, that condoms would be used with anyone except each other. However, that’s the rule I thought was in place.

And all was good until. . .

During a recent phone conversation BJ brought up that “Esther” had shared a “weird piece of news” that very day with him. Apparently, a man Esther “knew” (don’t you just love the overuse of quotation marks?) tested positive for gonorrhea. Apparently they were together before she and BJ were together (yes, I knew, and yes, I gave permission) the weekend I was at Drama’s. Now she’s being tested and BJ told me so is he. I sat for a moment thinking things through. Then I said to BJ, “Well at least you used a condom, right?” He hesitated, then said “Well, not really.” (I think that just means “No” while trying to make it sound not quite so bad as “No”) Deep breath. . . I didn’t say much more about it at that time. Since then we’ve talked about it a bit, very calmly and rationally.

The good news is that he told me up front about the situation.
The bad news is that he didn’t live up to what I thought our agreement was – using condoms every time. Not that he wouldn’t still need to be tested, but at least it would be somewhat less likely for him to have it.
The good news is that we talked about it all very calmly and rationally.
The bad news is that this is one more nail in the coffin of my trust of BJ. . . and unfortunately right when I was really letting go and trusting again.
The good news is that he was tested today.
The bad news is we may not have the results in time for us to be able to resume activities if it’s an “all clear” before his daughter arrives for a week long visit.

It is a fact of life that if you choose to be non-monogamous you will run risk of diseases that could be avoidable merely by being monogamous. We each choose what level of risk we are willing to take. My biggest issue with all of this is that I thought we agreed to one level of risk, and he took it to a different, and more dangerous, level.

Now, on to the really whiny self-pity portion of the show. (Note: you’ve been warned so proceed with caution. You may wish to end reading here.)

I feel like I am really very giving and understanding and open, more so than many women are. I feel like a man should feel a little lucky to be with me if he is not inclined to be monogamous because I can go with that flow. However, I do have limits. Goodness knows there aren’t many, but the ones I do have I expect to be respected. It makes me angry to think that for how few restrictions I would put on things, even those can’t be respected. It hurts my feelings. I try to act all “oh it’s no big deal” and not make a big fuss about it, but it doesn’t stop the feelings from being there. It doesn’t keep me from crying over it in private. It doesn’t keep me from wondering if there is any man anywhere who would meet me in the middle and stick to agreements about what is okay and not okay.

Enough of the whining self-pity and back to real life.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Sunday Stealing: The 2 for 1 Meme

1. What is on the walls of your room? Not much, a painting of a beach scene, and a photo collage of family photos.

2. What type of music do you listen to?
It depends on my mood. Lately I've been listening to a lot of country, but other times I listen to classic rock, jazz, classical, just about anything.

3. What do you want more than anything right now? The energy to do the things that need doing.

4. Do you get scared in the dark? Well, I must say the nightlights in the house aren't just for N.

5. What's you worst fear? Pain.

6. If you could anything right now, what would it be?
Hmm, seems to be a word missing between "could" and "anything" like, oh I don't know "be" or "do" or "have". Ok, I'll just choose one of those. If I could do anything at all right now I would go sit under a tree and read a book all afternoon.

7. What’s the meaningful gift that you’ve received? You mean the most meaningful gift? (This is getting old with the missing words.) My son N. He is not only my gift from God but from N's birthparents, and I will forever be grateful for this most wonderful gift.

8. Do you have a crush? I always have a crush on someone. Currently it is Hugh Jackman.

9. Who is your favorite celebrity? That's hard to say. Probably either Michael Jordan or LeBron James. (What?!? You know I'm a basketball fiend!)

10. Could you fall in love with someone that you know must leave? Of course.

11. Share a favorite quote of yours.
Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.
Albert Einstein

12. What’s your weakness? Food. . . and men.

13. Do you believe that we all have a soul mate? Used to, but not so much anymore.

14. What were you doing before Sunday Stealing?

15. What do you get complicated about the most? Relationships.

16. What turns you off the most from a potential partner? Dishonesty.

17. What is you worst habit? Procrastination.

18. When was the last time that you were jealous?

19. Have you ever had a “friend with benefits”? Yes.

20. Do you use sarcasm?
Only on a daily basis.

21. At the moment, what’s you favorite song?

22. What is you favorite day of the year? My birthday.

23. Describe your love life.
Umm. . . have you read my blog?

24. When was your last one night stand?
A long time ago.

25. How many past lovers are too many?
Hard to say. I personally don't think I've had too many, but I'm sure there are some who would disagree.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Top Ten Things I Do That Annoy N

10. Groove to the music on his radio station pick when we’re in the car.
9. Make him wear pants rather than shorts if the high for the day is predicted to be below 70 F.
8. Watch Supernanny because he’s afraid I’ll get tips on childrearing.
7. Refuse to serve tortellini with pesto for every meal.
6. Root for the Chicago Cubs.
5. Hug him in front of his friends.
4. Pick him up too early or too late from after school care.
3. Don’t cheer enough at his games.
2. Cheer too much at his games.

And, the number one thing that I do that annoys N:
1. Talk with my Southern accent, particularly when I say “peach pie.”

It is an absolute sure thing that I will annoy N anytime I drop my out-in-public-put-on-the-façade-“normal” voice and let the Southern accent creep in. Sometimes I do it on purpose just to rile him up, but most of the time it happens when (1) I’m too tired to think about it and let my guard down, (2) I’m around others with a Southern accent, or (3) there are just certain words I struggle to say without the accent, like “pie” or “darlin’” or “sweet tea.”

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

A Rare Non-Meme Post

Okay, so it's only a haiku, but at least it's not another meme, right? :-) Besides, it seems to work well with Mother's Day coming up this Sunday.

He'll Always Be My Baby

Sometimes it takes my
Breath away to see my son
As he really is

No longer baby
Or toddler, not anymore.
No, he is young man.

Only ten, too young
To be grown, too old to be
My precious baby.

I see in him the
Man he will become in time
Fleeting glances still.

I see his strength and
How he thinks things through before
He jumps now and then.

Then all too quickly
He is simply boy again
Young, silly, my boy.

I enjoy these times
Watching him grow into man
Yet I miss baby.

I long for the days
When hugs and kisses were free
And he wanted me.

Now he wants to be
Free, independent except
When he still needs me.

When the nightmares come
Or the winds howl and whistle
Through our drafty house.

Then he still wants me
To hold him tight, make things right.
Even big boys need Mom.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Eight Things Meme

Apparently, this blog is turning into one big collection of memes. Oh I know I'll get back to blogging my usual whining and bitching and moaning at some point. That probably won't happen though until a new laptop magically appears at my house, and I'm not counting on that happening anytime soon.

I've seen this meme on several blogs and was pseudo-tagged over at The Silent Male's blog. Here's my best shot at it.

8 Things I am looking forward to:
(and before I answer may I say that every time I read that line the grammatical error bugs me, but it isn't my meme so I left it the way I found it even though I really really really wanted to change it to "8 Things to Which I am Looking Forward:")
1. Going with BJ to a conference on the West Coast.
2. Meeting a fellow blogger or two on the trip to the West Coast.
3. Attending my 30th high school reunion this summer.
4. Getting my house cleaned up (this could take a while). (This was on The Silent Male’s list, and I stole it verbatim because it seemed so applicable to me and my house, too.)
5. Finally breaking through some internal barriers with the help of my therapist.
6. Finding the means to get a laptop to replace the one I busted.
7. Continuing and possibly expanding my involvement in church activities and leadership.
8. Getting my divorce over with.

8 Things I did yesterday:
1. Took N to school
2. Went to work
3. Went to the bank at lunchtime
4. Ran loads of month end reports
5. Went to N’s Little League game
6. Watched N hit a home run! (actually would’ve been a triple if the other team hadn’t overthrown third)
7. Had a fast food dinner when N’s game ran late (after 8 p.m.!)
8. Watched a little TV before going to bed

8 Things I wish I could do:
1. I wish I could lose weight easily
2. I wish I could stop procrastinating
3. I wish I could be cured of depression
4. I wish I could stop tricking people into believing I’m okay by telling them what they want to hear
5. I wish I could believe in myself and trust that people are seeing through me and that I really am okay
6. I wish I could just be okay
7. I wish I could play the piano every day like I used to
8. I wish I could have a good cry

8 TV Shows I watch:
1. Survivor
2. Amazing Race
3. Criminal Minds
4. Cold Case
5. The Unit
6. Harper’s Island
7. Supernanny
8. Wife Swap

8 People I am tagging for this meme:
1. Nope
2. Nobody
3. No tags
4. Nada, negatory, nil
5. Do it if you want
6. Don’t if you don’t
7. If you like to be tagged, consider yourself tagged
8. If you don’t then consider this THE END

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Sunday Stealing: The Twenty Firsts Meme

This is a tough meme for me. The perfectionist in me wants to answer all these questions accurately. Unfortunately I'm having a hard time remembering for sure in all cases what the first one of something was. Refusing to give up altogether I will just issue this disclaimer up front: All of these are the firsts as I remember them as I write this post. Accuracy is not guaranteed. There, now the perfectionist in me can allow me to move on with the answers without feeling like a complete failure.

First Job: Other than babysitting in high school, washing test tubes in a medical lab.

First Real Job:
Regulatory auditor

First Favorite Politician: Jimmy Carter

First Car: 1968 Buick Lesabre

First Record/CD:
Elton John's Rock of the Westies

First Sport Played: Softball

First Concert:

First Foreign Country Visited:
The Bahamas

First Favorite TV Show: Batman (the old one with Adam West)

First Favorite Actor: Andy Griffith (I always thought his Andy Taylor and my dad were a lot alike. At least they talked a lot alike and seemed to have a similar background and philosophy)

First Favorite Actress: Carol Burnett (loved her weekly show and her role in Once Upon a Mattress)

First Girlfriend/Boyfriend: Tim, in sixth grade, but only because I knew Joe would never be interested in me. If Joe had been interested in me Tim wouldn't have stood a chance.

First Encounter with a Famous Person: Ted Knight (played Ted Baxter on the Mary Tyler Moore Show). I saw him in Baker's Square in Santa Monica on Thanksgiving morning. I recognized him and kept looking over at him. His eyes met mine at one point, and he smiled and nodded at me in a gesture that I'm sure he was used to doing when he was recognized in public. I wanted to go over and say hi, but I also didn't want to bother him so I just smiled back and went back to eating my breakfast.

First Brush With Death:
I don't know just how close a brush with death this was, but it seems that it could have been fairly close when I was in a car accident when I was three. Of course, I wasn't strapped in like kids are now, but just loose in the car. I was sitting on the floor of the front seat coloring when my mom ran off a small bridge over a creek. The car flipped and landed on its roof. I was knocked out and don't remember anything until I awoke in the ER and screamed bloody murder because I was scared and didn't know where I was or who all those people were surrounding me poking and prodding at me (doctors and nurses checking for injuries).

First House/Condo Owned:
A double wide mobile home that W and I lived in for a few years until we could save up to buy a "real" house.

First Film Seen:
The Sting

First Favorite Recording Artist:
The Partridge Family (yeah, lame I know, but I thought they were the best)

First Favorite Radio Station:
WLS, back in the day when they played music instead of talk

First Book I Remember Reading: Dick and Jane when I was in first grade

First Meme You Answered on Your Blog:
Ok, at least this one I could do a little research to figure out the correct answer. First thing I found was that I have 58(!) posts tagged "Meme" which just blew me away. I had no clue I'd done that many. Clearly I've shared more than anyone could ever want to know about me. The first one was posted on June 2, 2006. I don't know the name of the meme, but I entitled my post Too Much Information, and looking it over that seems to fit pretty well.