Top Ten Things I Learned by Having Pneumonia Last Week

10. There are approximately 4.2 million judges with their own courtroom TV shows.
9. People will sue each other in TV court for any damned thing, no matter how trivial.
8. Let’s Make a Deal just isn’t the same without Monty Hall.
7. My bed is really comfortable, even after 18 straight hours.
6. Pneumonia will drain the energy right out of you, making it difficult to even walk eight feet from the bed to the toilet.
5. Nobody who hasn’t had pneumonia can truly appreciate just how awful it makes you feel.
4. In spite of taking a whole week off of work to get over it, I’m still exhausted and barely make it through the day.
3. Naps are good. More naps are even better.
2. W and N are virtually incapable of managing without me, especially when it comes to getting places on time or even knowing where they are supposed to be at any given time.

And the #1 thing I learned by having pneumonia last week:

1. Until you get on antibiotics and start recuperating you don’t give a damn about numbers two through ten because you are too busy fantasizing about someone coming and shooting you to put you out of your misery.