Monday, November 01, 2010

November Already?

Today is All Saints Day. I’m not Catholic so I don’t celebrate All Saints Day. I’m not particularly into Saints. Oh the New Orleans Saints are alright, but I’m not going to be praying to Saint Christopher, Saint Xavier, or even Saint Nicholas anytime soon.

Well, that had nothing whatsoever to do with today’s post, but it is a reflection of the rambling way my brain has been working lately. This may, in no small part, be due to my sporadic, at best, use of my happy pills lately.

Again, that was a bit of an aside apropos of nothing. Here then lets start with the real post.

I am sad. I am so very, very sad. People are dying all around me. Two of the older ladies in our church passed away within the last couple of months. Both were in their late 80s so perhaps their deaths should have come as little surprise. They did though because both of them seemed so healthy right up to when they weren’t anymore. Last week the mother of a friend died. She was in her mid-60s. This morning another member of our church died, and he also was only in his late 50s or early 60s. I feel like I’m just all cried out about all of it, and yet every now then the tears come again. Too many people dying all in a bunch. It’s ticking me off. Stop dying people.

On a lighter note however, TS2 moved in last month. Goodness, having her around is like a breath of fresh air. I have someone to talk to. I have someone who likes to help out around the house and insists on doing so in return for the outrageously low rent I’m charging her. She fixed a window last night that both BJ and W had attempted unsuccessfully. TS2 ain’t perfect. She talks a lot. Of course, we all have our flaws. Maybe I have on the rose colored glasses (I’ve been known to do that occasionally), but I am no less crushing on her than I was before she moved in.

There are times when I am so damned tempted to make a subtle move on her of some sort, but dang it I am no good at it. I am so much better at it with men than women, possibly just because I have more experience with men than women, but I think women are much harder to read than men. There are two kinds of men – men who will and men who won’t. All you have to do is hit on the ones who will and bingo! With women, who knows? Every one is different, complex, and completely unpredictable. With TS2 there are times I think she’d welcome my advances, but then there are other times when I think, no, she’s just a friend. Bleah. . . I’m pretty sure nothing will ever come of this little infatuation of mine. I’m pretty sure I’ll never make the move. What I just don’t know is if TS2 will make a move on me. I tend to think not. I tend to think she won’t because she will want to respect my “marriage” (using that term loosely).

Or one of these days in a weak moment, I’m gonna plant a kiss on her, and then I guess we’ll see what kind of fallout that causes.

Must exert self-control.

3 comments:

Val said...

Decided (as usual) to surf around while trying to organize my thoughts in the post I need to write...
What's that they say about bad things coming in 3's??
2 deaths - a riding-buddy family & a vet school classmate each lost their young-adult children in traffic accidents this past weekend; then my cousin hit a deer & spun off the embankment of the Indian Nation turnpike, fracturing his pelvis & 1st lumbar vertebrae... No paralysis, thank God, but as I type he's flat on his back awaiting surgery...

Craig said...

I'm at the age now where a few of my HS classmates die every year. And it's always jarring when I hear of one. Because, you know, we just aren't that old. . .

And just for the sake of sayin' so, Anglicans and many Lutherans also observe All Saints' Day (and I think Orthodox do, too, but not on November 1st). . .

Steel Horseman said...

When it comes to death, we have no choice but to feel what we feel. Even the Bible takes time to mention that Abraham grieved when Sarah died. So all of that sadness, anger, depression. We kind of have to feel that stuff for some reason.
I think I have made it through the worst of it.
Now about reading women. It takes a lot of time, patience, and effort, but it can be done.
Then again, the getting weak and planting a hot kiss on her lips sounds really good too.