Not Good at the Game

(Note:  This post was a quickly written, stream of consciousness kind of thing.  Apologies for a lack of coherency, cohesion, and flow from one paragraph to the next.)

I am so very not good at just fitting in the box.  I am so outside the box it isn’t even funny.

Most people seem to want to get out of serving on committees, heading up this or that, participating more than just the bare minimum.  It seems like it is society’s norm that we should all grumble about serving and expressing relief and joy at coming to the end of our term so that we can go back to being a do nothing lump.

That is just SO NOT ME.  I want to be involved.  I want to do things.  I want to be selected to serve on committees, to coordinate activities, to lead this or that.

So recently, when church leadership turned over, and my term as chairperson for one of the main committees ended I was surely disappointed that I was not asked to serve in any capacity for the upcoming year.  I guess I’m just supposed to sit back on my haunches and show up to worship every Sunday.  Bummer.

Why was I given this leave?  Did I do such an awful job that they didn’t want me to serve anywhere anymore?  Did they think I would appreciate having the year off?  Did they bother to tell me or ask me?  NO!  And I don’t really feel I can ask anyone because that just seems to go against all the expectations everyone has that this hiatus is a GOOD thing.

So, you know, I just decided to have myself a good old pity party the other night – whined, ate snacks that were bad for me, and just generally had a hissy fit.  Poor W.  He witnessed it all.  That’s one downside of living with me – my occasional inescapable self-indulgent pity parties.

Oh, but I’ve rebounded some now.  I’ve now decided that since the congregation has decided that anyone with an idea for a new initiative can run with it as long as they can find a second person to help spearhead it that I am going to see if I can’t find a second person to help me start a new women’s fellowship group for the church.  We used to have one, but it was all older ladies who have mostly died off.  I think the reason it was only older ladies was because they always met on weekday afternoons, when many younger women were at work.

So yes, you can keep me from formal leadership, but you can’t keep me from leading one way or another.  Yes, I am THAT woman in the congregation.  Can’t control me.  Can’t stop me no matter how hard you try.  Just one more pain in the butt, thorn in the side for those who are in formal leadership.