Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Sleeping Beast Wakes

Since about the time I turned 50 I lost all interest in sex. Now, if you’ve read much of the older parts of this blog you know that is just about a 180 degree turnaround for me. Somehow my 40’s were my “escapade decade” of lust and lasciviousness. Then almost simultaneously with turning 50 I lost all desire. The sexual appetite went to zero, nothing, nada. It was if someone had finally flipped the switch to the OFF position.

Thus, living with W reached a new level of tolerability. He didn’t want sex. I didn’t want sex. So what’s to argue about? (Well, other than how he treats N, and his hoarding habits, and his incessant time spent playing solitaire on the computer, but other than that...)

So began more than a year of détente. Notice not much blogging occurred during that time. What on earth would there have been to say? I decided that I was a better person when I had no desires of a sexual nature. I decided that since I wasn’t feeling it there was no use forcing it. The vibrator sat idly by. I sat idly by.

Then, within the last couple of weeks, a few urges started creeping back. Sex started to sound more interesting than it had in a very long while. I’ve actually engaged in some playful banter full of flirtation and double entendres while chatting with a couple of people (J being one and an old blogging buddy the other). I am not seeking out opportunities, but if an opportunity arose I am pretty sure I would jump at it. Don’t worry though. Opportunities are few and far between so there is little likelihood that any of us need to contemplate the consequences of that.

Last night I took matters into my own hands. The nightstand drawer was opened for the first time in a long time so I could get out the toys for a little bit of “me time.” It was okay, but it just made me hornier rather than satisfied.

I did discover that I need a new vibe. The old one has a short in it or something because it will work, then not, then with just the right jiggle will work again for a bit. I am considering heading up to the “toy store” to get a new one. I’ve only been there once (or maybe twice) with BJ there to keep my nerves from getting the best of me. Am I adult enough to enter an adult store all by myself? I’m not 100% sure, but I’m going to try to muster the nerve. A girl’s gotta have suitable toys when the real thing is not available. Of course, I know I could order online, but then everybody in the house would ask what’s in the package so I would prefer not to go that route.

1 comment:

Val said...

Unfortunately I seem to know EXACTLY how you feel at a the ripe ol' age of 48... Flirting w/menopause these past few mos, that's what I blame.
Need to update my own Dark Thoughts.