Friday, May 15, 2009

Dwelling Too Much

Sometimes I dwell on things too much. Sometimes I think too much. Sometimes I wonder if I could just shut off my brain occasionally if I wouldn’t be in a better place. You know, something akin to the “Ignorance is bliss” theory.

Also, I’m a reader, an avid reader. When I find a blog that I enjoy reading then I read it completely, going back in the archives and working my way forward. Sometimes I do so all at once. Sometimes it takes time, going back time and again until I’m caught up to the present day.

Add to that the fact I have a fairly decent (far from perfect) memory so that I pretty well know the basics that were relayed in a blog’s history even if I don’t remember the details.

Now, put all those things together, and sometimes I can just darned near drive myself crazy going over and over and over things, trying to put pieces together. I try to make the pieces fit together so that the picture they make is the one I want to see. Sometimes the reality is that the picture made from the puzzle is of the Eiffel Tower and no matter how badly you want to see the London Bridge you cannot put the puzzle together in such a way as to make it be a picture of London Bridge.

Hmmm. . . . took a little time after writing that last paragraph to read it again and reread it and think some about it. There’s some wisdom there (who woulda thunk such a thing could come from me?), and I had to spend some time letting it roll around in my brain. Okay, so now you have a picture of the Eiffel Tower when you really wanted a picture of London Bridge and thought from the box it came in that’s what you were getting. You don’t have exactly what you want, but you sure can’t change one into the other. It is what it is. You have to decide if you are pleased enough with the picture of the Eiffel Tower to keep it and forget about looking for a picture of London Bridge, or if you are going to rid yourself of the picture of the Eiffel Tower so that you can search for a real picture of London Bridge. Do you keep the picture of the Eiffel Tower in hopes that in time it will take on more characteristics of the London Bridge? Do you pretend you really wanted a picture of the Eiffel Tower all along and try to forget about the desire for the picture of London Bridge? Do you throw away the picture of the Eiffel Tower even if you don’t know if you will ever find a picture of London Bridge?

See? Dwelling too much. . .


Sailor said...

I don't know that I try to force the picture, but I do know what you mean.
I usually find that after going back and forth and reading, I've come to know the part the blogger is sharing well enough that I end up reading regularly- because now I "know" them (as much as we know anyone online that is), and I want to find out what they come up with next.

So in your analogy, I guess I keep the picture of the Eiffel Tower, but continue to look for the bridge, as well.

Jeni Angel said...

Yes, but what I want to know is who is this great blogger that has you doing all this thinking.

Val said...

Greetings fellow compulsive!
I'm afraid I don't have any helpful assvice, but I just ordered myself this fancy new sleep mask, equipped w/"glo bars" which is supposed to help one turn off the anxious repetitive thoughts & achieve a peaceful zone of semi-meditative rest.
I'll let you know how it works ;-)

Trueself said...

Sailor - Wow, somebody understood this post?!? You are awesome dude!

Jeni - Check my blogroll in the sidebar, near the bottom of the list, someone near and dear.

Val - Compulsive, yes, indeed I am that. Glo bars, eh? Yes, do let me know how that works for you.