Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thursday Therapy: OMFG I’m Going to Kill Him

No I am not literally going to kill anyone. I might consider it, but I have a lot better things to do with the rest of my life than spend it working in the laundry at a maximum security women’s prison. Nobody is worth doing that to myself so the world is spared from a murderer just because I hate doing laundry. Isn’t that nice to know?

Ah but the reason for even having the killing thoughts come from the joys of letting your estranged spouse live in your house. First of all, there is a reason that you are estranged, presumably y’all don’t get along just peachy keen. Second, with both of you living in the same house, even a large one, there are just ample opportunities for one to annoy the other and vice versa. Third, eventually one of you is bound to do something so stupid, so asinine that you just want to kill the other person if for no other reason than to get them out of your way.

I am of two minds about an incident earlier this week. One says that W is an imbecile, isn’t careful, doesn’t double check things, won’t cooperate when asked to do something and is therefore 100% responsible for the incident and deserves to have his ass thrown out on the pavement, kicked to the curb and told to go find himself somewhere else to be. The other says that W may be an idiot, but he’s always been that way, always will be that way, and I’m beholden to let him stay as long as he needs to be there and N needs him, and maybe even the incident wasn’t 100% his fault.

It is this waffliness that I am going to discuss with Freud on Tuesday. I am the wishwashiest, waffliest person in the world. I see both sides. I can be furious about something yet still see the other guy’s side, and me being me I always figure that the other guy is more right than I am. So I waver. Do I stick to my guns or give in? I don’t know. I try to do one and if it doesn’t work perfectly I back down and do the other. Aaaarrrggghhh. . .


Serenity said...

If it was an incident that endangered either N or you then kick his sorry ass out. If it was just something that triggered your, um, ocd-ish tendencies, then let it slide.
But seriously."I’m beholden to let him stay as long as he needs..." I don't fuckin think so. Do you honestly think this is a workable situation? Does Freud? There has got to be part of you in your right mind enough to know this is a bad idea, grab onto that part and look at this objectively. W doesn't belong in your house. I'm obviously not in a charitable mood tonight so i'll stop right here.

ginnyh said...

Soooo............please do tell, what exactly was the incident that caused you to want to kill him?

I've been wondering just how things were working out with W in the same house with you, since you really haven't commented much here on your blog.

I hope that someday you can find a way to divorce him and move forward with your life, you deserve better than what you're enduring right now.

Please, please TS divorce that man! You can do it! I'm pulling for you!


Val said...

Ouch...but please oh please my dear - make a plan, and carry it out!
If you are able to spend enough quiet time w/your own thoughts, the solution will become clear.
"said the pot to the kettle"