Happy Anniversary

Today is my three year anniversary at my job. Looking back three years ago it seems like such a short time in some ways and a lifetime ago in others. The new job meant a second big move in just a few years’ time, a disruption whose effects continue to ripple through my life. Some things are better than they were then, some things are worse, some are just different but not really better or worse, and some things are just still the same. Let’s look at each category, shall we?

Better

• BJ and I have run our course
• M is a steady source of physical release so I’m not so on edge all the time
• Meds for the depression finally seem to be right
• Freud is helping me be a better me
• I have season Illini basketball tickets
• I love, love, love, love, love my church
• I have developed true friendships with a few people

Worse

• I keep letting J back into my life in spite of him being on marriage #3
• I am dealing with a house I never should have bought
• Finances continue to worsen, at least for the next few months
• My relationship with my parents is becoming more strained again
• My weight is back up to where it was before I lost weight several years ago
• I let Gladys intimidate me to the point where I don’t use my backyard

Just Different

• N is a precocious 11-year-old instead of a precocious 8-year-old
• N is focusing on soccer and basketball as his sports of choice rather than doing everything
• Different boss, now that we’ve cleared the air I no longer consider this a worse thing, but I’m not ready to say it’s a better thing either

Same

• W is still here, once again living in my home
• W and I are still married
• I am still miserable being with W
• I still hate the stupid Hallmark holiday in the middle of February
• I still hate Midwestern winters
• I still miss living in northern CA

Overall, I would say that the Betters outweigh the Worses. Also, many of those Sames are things I need to help change so there’s plenty of room to keep making the Better list longer.

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On another note, (although I suppose one could argue this could’ve been part of the Better list) I have returned to reading one book every week or two. While this isn’t near what my reading used to be it is far greater than it has been in a long time and probably about as much as my busy life can accommodate currently. I credit getting the depression under control with bringing back my ability to concentrate and focus long enough to actually read and comprehend. I recently obtained a library card and am having a ball checking out books and reading.