Drowning as I am in this depression, I have been trying to go back and read some of the blog entries in my archives that show my strength, that show me I can pull myself out of this and do better than this. As I was doing this I thought who better to ask than my readers who often have pointed out my strengths to me to send me back to some of their favorite posts of mine that might help me see that all is not bleak, that the light at the end of the tunnel is indeed daylight and not the headlight of an oncoming train.
So blessed readers, if you would be so kind, point me in the direction of some of my old posts that reveal the strength I know I have in me but just can't find right now.
Thank you kindest readers in the blogosphere.
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That was all of tangible things; but in memories we were rich. We had pierced the veneer of outside things. We had "suffered, starved and triumphed, grovelled down yet grasped at glory, grown bigger in the bigness of the whole." We had seen God in his splendours, heard the text that Nature renders. We had reached the naked soul of man.
-- Ernest Shackleton
The above text is a portion of a man's story of survival, struggle and determination. You, yourself, are also on a personal journey. While perhaps not as epic, your soul still struggles. You are still finding your way. Still newly mourning for relationships old (w), and finding trust anew (bj). You are but in the early steps of your journey. Tru, it is OK to struggle, it is OK to feel depressed and alone, and perhaps not as strong as you may have been. Make no mistake though, you are strong, and you will persevere. This moment is your cornerstone for a new beginning, a beginning you have been struggling to obtain for years. While it may have not played out in the way you had anticipated , you are holding everything within your grasp. You are going to get there. Hold tight a little longer, and continue to reach out to your friends as you have been. You have arrived, you have the strength, happiness has not forgotten you. You are going to get through this. Believe..... I know this is not what you asked for, but perhaps it still has worth. -Andrea
One thing I thought took a lot of strength was during the whole BJ/Serenity debacle you maintained your dignity, didn't trash the other parties and basically took the high road. I know the hurt that it caused and the recovery that goes with it. Take care of yourself, it will get better.
How about the courage it took to finally get W to understand your marriage was over?
Andrea - Maybe it wasn't exactly what I asked for, but it helped as much or more. Thanks.
Summer - It isn't always easy to take the high road, and yes that took strength.
John - Ah yes, another evidence of strength, a big one, one that I questioned even as recently as yesterday. I wondered, briefly, for milliseconds, yesterday morning if I should just give up, take him back and let him take care of some things with which I'm struggling. Fortunately, even at my lowest points now I can see that is not the answer. Things would not be better, but even worse, that way. So even in my down times, I still had the strength to keep moving forward instead of turning back.
You have the strength to KEEP TYPING which in & of itself can be an amazing feat! Sometimes I literally freeze up, still self-censoring so much I cannot elucidate MY "Deepest Darkest" secrets...And that's stopping my own forward progress...
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