Thursday, May 08, 2008

MYOB Trueself MYOB

Call me nosy, but I like to know what’s happening behind the scenes. I like to know the inside scoop. I don’t think I’ve ever thought that I knew too much about anything that was going on within my sphere of family/friends/acquaintances (on the other hand, I really don’t want to know celebrity junk because I just don’t care about them). I am not necessarily prone to sharing all that I know. Because of that sometimes people will confide in me things that aren’t confided in many others. I like it that way. I like to be well informed whether it’s my business or not.

Now there are two situations about which I know very little occurring in the present that have to do with people relatively close to me, and ain’t nobody sharin’ nothin’ with me. Can you say FRUSTRATION?!?!? Mind you, there is really little reason for me to know more than what I do know, but gosh darn it I want to know more! I have questions, and I want answers. In both cases, one more so than the other, it would be inappropriate of me to snoop in order to ferret out the answers. Yet it is driving me crazy, this desire for knowledge. I need to mind my own business. After all, curiosity killed the cat. (Yes, but satisfaction brought it back.) Anyway, I will not be pursuing answers to any of my questions, but I will continue to hope that perhaps in some way some answers will fall into my lap if I make myself open and available to them. Naturally, I will share my quandaries and frustrations here, on my blog, where I can expose anonymously all those thoughts that I can’t vocalize in the real world.

Mystery #1
W has started a new business of sorts. He told me he started two LLCs in two different states, neither of which is a state in which we live. Our counselor made mention of some kind of internet-based business he was starting. He is flying away for this weekend to a training or conference of some sort apparently related to the business and has been receiving “important” phone calls on Mondays related to it. W also asked me to get his name taken off the mortgage on the house because it is interfering with him getting a loan for his business (which I haven’t done by the way, and won’t, until I make sure I’m not hurting myself by doing it by checking with my attorney). That’s it. That’s the sum total of my knowledge. I’m dying to know more only because I’m afraid this is another of his get rich quick schemes, and he’s going to be taken for some amount of money before he finds out that it isn’t all he thinks it will be. It’s not really my business anymore now that we’re separated, but it sure makes me want to get the divorce over with ASAP so that I have absolutely no liability associated with any of it. I would love to ask him a million questions about it, but he wouldn’t answer them. Besides it might give him the idea that I care, and I don’t want that. Sigh. . .

Mystery #2
I received a letter in the mail recently from my church. Now there’s nothing so unusual about that. The letter was a form letter that I presume was sent to all members and regular attendees of the church. The unusual thing is that it was a letter explaining that the pastor was being booted out. I found it most unusual because I have heard absolutely no rumblings or grumblings about the pastor, and usually if there is dissatisfaction with the pastor it is not a big secret since churches tend to have a gossipy atmosphere in spite of the fact that gossip is generally recognized as a sin. The letter specified that the pastor was being let go due to performance issues that have been addressed over a number of months, but was otherwise quite vague. I am dying to know what on earth the situation is that caused such a move by the church council. I am concerned for the pastor and his family because I like him and them and hope that everything is going to be okay for them. I can’t help myself when faced with so little actual information from speculating in my own mind what the missing pieces are. I may be far off the mark in my speculations, and I will share them with no one because I don’t want to inadvertently start off a whole string of rumors that have little to no foundation. While some of my desire for knowledge of what happened is idle curiosity, there is a good portion of it that comes from a desire to discern whether the actions of the church council are ones of which I would approve or disapprove. If I would approve then all is well. However, if I would disapprove then I would need to think about whether a change of churches would be in order or whether I should stay and become more involved in the polity at church so that I could work to influence future actions there.

So there. Now that's all down in writing I can let fly free and unfettered from my brain. Then maybe I can concentrate on important things, like work.


Bunny said...

On W: It’s not really my business anymore now that we’re separated

Of course it is your business, although indirectly. You and W are co-parents to N. If he gets taken for a ride financially, that hurts N. If it affects N, good or bad, that is your business. Plus I'm sure you still care about him in a general way that you wouldn't want to see W hurt either.

Trueself said...

Bunny - Good point. Very good point. I'm sure W won't agree, but I think you're right that I do deserve to know something about it.

Val said...

I understand that "gnawing curiousity" feeling also -- but Bunny's right; you must still remain involved in W's wheeling-n'-dealing since it may affect his ability to provide support for N.
(sounds fishy to me too; not to mention while you're still legally married you **MIGHT** carry some degree of financial responsibility?!? => consult an atty ASAP!)

Trueself said...

Val - Thanks for weighing in on this. After your comment and Bunny's it helped me see the need for me to stay informed for N's sake. All my focus had been was that it wasn't my business anymore, and it wouldn't be if (a) we didn't have N and (b) we were already divorced. As it is, I have every right to know what's going on.