Thursday, September 04, 2008

One of Life’s Unexplained Mysteries

What happened to all my Illini t-shirts? This is driving me absolutely freaking nuts! All my sweatshirts are still here, but the t-shirts are gone. Every single one of them (and I have a lot of Illini t-shirts), except my pink one from the cancer fundraiser last year, is missing. I have looked everywhere I can think to look, but they are gone.
Here’s my suspect list:

W –
Motive: piss me off;
Opportunity: still has access to the house;
Likelihood: Slim, for all his faults I find it hard to believe that he would do something like this, or if he did stoop that low I would think he would’ve taken the sweatshirts too.

Cleaning People –
Motive: wanting cool Illini t-shirts for themselves or family members;
Opportunity: had access to the house until I stopped using them a few weeks ago, and honestly I kind of knew I couldn’t find my Illini t-shirts but hadn’t looked very hard until this past week because I thought they had to be somewhere in the house;
Likelihood: Possibly could be although I hate to mistrust the hired help

BJ –
Motive: playing some juvenile Iowa Hawkeye prank on me;
Opportunity: has been in my house alone a few times;
Likelihood: So far my most likely suspect although if it turns out to be him all I can say is all that Iowa shit in his apartment is gonna be very, very vulnerable.

N’s friends –
Motive: wanting cool Illini t-shirts for themselves;
Opportunity: there have been several times when they’ve been upstairs in the bedroom areas playing hide and seek and other games;
Likelihood: If it was only one shirt, I’d say high, but to take all of them makes it less likely I think.

Me –
Motive: simply misplaced them and need to find scapegoat for blame;
Opportunity: endless;
Likelihood: extremely high

Chances of solving this case: Only time will tell. In the short run the chances are slim at best because I'm not willing to confront any of my suspects since I'm thinking that last one (Me) is the one to blame so I don't want to look like an ass by confronting others about it. In the long run, I stand maybe a 50/50 chance if I get the guts to confront anyone about it.


Nancy said...

:-) Maybe they all walked out in shame after the game with Missouri last week!

Fusion said...

You left one out, if you're like me. The dryer. It likes to hide them behind itself...

But yes, "me" would be the primary suspect too!

Good luck on the treasure hunt!

mia said...

I'd blame BJ, only because that would be hilarious!!! :) Sorry, BJ.

Sailor said...

I think a rigorous interrogation of yourself is in order; complete with glaring at yourself, sternly, in the mirror.

Bunny said...

I have things like that happen all the time. Spousehole is usually the culprit (though sometimes me) but it's usually not intentional. He cleans up by putting things in a box and putting the box in the attic or basement. Then when I say "have you seen my . . . " he doesn't remember having put it anywhere. I've found a ton of my and the kids' things cleaning the attic out in order to move. With no basement at the new house in S.C., at least his places to put his "clean up" boxes will be more limited.

BJ said...

Iowa shit? No, I didn't lay a hand on any of that little orange stuff.

Trueself said...

Nancy - Yeah, thanks for mentioning. . .

Fuse - Hmm, the dryer. . . In my house it generally only eats socks.

Mia - It would be hilarious, wouldn't it? Particularly when certain things at his apartment started to go missing too, like, oh I don't know, a certain clock, perhaps a shot glass, or even the throw over the living room chair. . . LOL

Sailor - I think you are spot on with your idea.

Bunny - W used to do that to me too back in the day.

BJ - You sure? Really? Should I conduct a thorough search this weekend? Perhaps a full body strip search even? Hmm?