Friday, December 05, 2008

It Goes to Character Your Honor

I received the following email this morning. It was actually sent around 3:00 this morning. J is not the man I ever thought he was. This email has proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I will admit to being disappointed. I thought he was better than this.

As background he and I stayed in touch for a while after I moved to LNJ. We were friends, or so I thought. When BJ went through his Insanity last winter, and K dumped me, and W moved out, and I was feeling low and uncertain I did reach out to J, only to find out he was engaged so I backed right off and left him alone.

Now, several months later I get this email:

Hi TS,
Hi sweetie....How are you? I apologize for not writing very fast. The last two months have been hectic. I lost an aunt and uncle in a 9 day period. I put in about 120 hours of overtime. I have been tying up loose ends at church and trying to help with my mom. Then I didn't know exactly what to say when I did write.
I hope you had a decent Thanksgiving despite everything. I hope Christmas goes well somehow for you and N.
I really don't want to say anything that may even hint at being selfish. I agree with you. I don't believe you should be just a lay for anyone. I always hated you being married to W. I, yes I am going to say it, wish BJ would get lost. There I am, married again. We have been since the Spring. The thing is that I could be married to this one for the next 30 years, but I have come to a realization. I hope you feel the same way so I don't come off like some pansy. I love you, and will always. I always wish there was a way where we could at least hook up for a day, talk, hang out together, and make love to each other and show each other how we feel for one another again. I wish we lived a lot closer to each other. That is the reason I said something about you coming to [his town] sometime. If I wasn't married, I would come up there and sweep you off your feet. You deserve someone to do that. I just don't want to have sex with you. Making love to you and showing you the affection you need is important. I don't want you to think that where I am concerned. I know it may sound strange that I am saying this with being married again, but my feeling for you are never going to go away. We were married before and we met to hang out and make love. I went to LNJ with you and we spent the night together. If I had a chance to do it again, I would go with you. TS, I will always love you. I apologize for being the shy kid back in high school and not being outgoing. We could have married each other back then. Maybe we could have been able to maintain our girlish figures lol and all would have been great.
But we are here now. You and I are always going to stay in touch. I know what you are going through. I really do. If the opportunity arises I would like to see you. I hope to hear from you soon. I love you sweetheart. I always will.
Love always,
J

Not the man I thought he was at all. Not at all. Don’t think I can even remain friends at this point. May take some time to figure out what, if anything, to write back.

Are all men idiots?

5 comments:

Sailor said...

No, we're not all idiots. Some, however, don't seem to mature past high-school; on the other hand, there are a lot of women that I'd say are in the same state. Somehow though, motherhood particularly seems to force a maturity that fatherhood doesn't automatically equal.

Ohh, good captcha word: bless

Must be an omen :)

Fusion said...

Well sailor said it first, um, NO, we're not. Course you know that too, but there seem to be quite a few of them out there anyways...

That was just frickin creepy to read though...known him (somewhat) since high school eh?

I'd just ignore the loser from now on...

rumple said...

I guess I'm the lone person-

I think it took guts to write it, and that he's being sweet.


Anywho....

Don said...

I get the impression that he had some big idea in his head, but just couldn't get it clearly out on the keyboard. He does sound genuine when he says he loves you - but you'd know better than me. And the part about wanting to "hook up" with you - I get the impression that his new marriage isn't everything he hoped for.

I think you should simply accept it for what it is and let a sleeping dog lie.

Trueself said...

Sailor - Maturity: a quite rare comodity it seems.

Fuse - I'd reply to your comment but as you know, I already have.

Rumple - Definitely a different perspective on the situation.

Don - You know what? I think he's probably sincere about loving me too. He and I just never have quite had what it takes to make it work.