Friday, December 12, 2008

STFU, Good Advice for Many

(After listening to W go on and on over the phone about Q and “their” new house and how she’s moving this weekend and he’ll move when his lease is up in March and how it has three bedrooms and a garage and yadda, yadda, yadda. . .)

TS: Um. . . I’m going to. . . uh. . . say something. . . I mean. . . I want to. . . uh. . . um. . .

W: Go ahead. Say what you want to say.

TS: Okay, I’m going to say this once, and then I will never speak of it again.

W: Okay.

TS: I’m concerned that you’re moving awfully quickly, and I hope you don’t get hurt. It just seems like you are rushing things with her. Okay, there it is. I’ve said it, and I won’t bring it up again.

W: I appreciate it. (Not 100% sure whether he meant my telling him or my not telling him again although my guess would be the latter.)


W: Okay, well bye.

TS: Bye.

(He’s called three more times today since then, always with a “perfectly legitimate” reason to need to talk to me even though all that he called about could have been done via e-mail. Feeling a little bit lonely buddy now that Q is working? What is it that you want here? Why do I care? And could you stop telling me all about how wonderful Q is in every stinkin’ way? Who cares? Who the f*** cares? I get it! You got a girlfriend, one who wants to live with you and be with you always and bend over backwards for you. Great. Good. Wonderful. Now STFU please. I have my own issues to deal with thank you very much.)

I swear I’ve tried to ignore it, to just smile and nod and mentally roll my eyes, but I finally just had to say something. I had to or my head would have exploded, and that would have made such a mess for the janitorial service to clean up in my cubicle. So yeah, I’m a petty jealous bitch. There ya’ go. Taking the high road takes a lot out of a girl, and sometimes the low road beckons so enticingly it becomes impossible not to go there.


Serenity said...

Are you sure it's jealousy? I mean, would you want him back? I'm thinking no. You may have to clarify boundaries for W because he doesn't seem to know what they are. For your own peace of mind, you really don't need to know anything other than what affects N. And W's opinion of Q does not fall into that category. Ugh! :)

Fusion said...

Seems like he wants to keep rubbing it in that he has a girlfriend, and/or he has misconstrued your concern into thinking you still care for him maybe...

Messy stuff for sure...

Cocotte said...

I think it's weird that he calls you so much. It sends mixed messages, that's for sure.

Val said...

[word verification: "burap", not the most poetic!]
I guess I'M still all hung up on the fantasy of MY ex calling to communicate/interact w/me like two grown-up PARENTS, acting in the best interests of their CHILD... Instead of treating everything w/elaborate subterfuge & manipulations, coercing me into "compromises" (which are actually just Val giving M his way) which have nothing whatsoever to do w/what our son needs/wants.

Trueself said...

Serenity - No, it probably isn't jealousy in the sense of wanting him back. Yes, boundaries, my therapist and I were just discussing that very same point.

Fuse - I think he's trying to hurt me like I hurt him, but I don't know for sure.

Cocotte - Weird, yeah that describes W.

Val - Such a shame that it is only fantasy to have grown up conversations between adults, but when it comes to exes it seems it is.