Physical Therapy

Being with J last week not only churned up emotions it fanned the flames of the ember that has been burning since around the time I posted this. The need for physical satisfaction has been simmering and last Friday brought it to a full boil.

Perhaps as a defense mechanism I have refocused myself away from the emotional side of things and towards the physical. Perhaps as a stop gap measure until I can free myself to be available for a real relationship a little NSA fun seems like a good idea on some level. Perhaps I’m just horny. Whatever the case may be, I indulged myself just a little yesterday.

Being that it was Thanksgiving I didn’t have to go to work. Given that I had already announced to W & J that I wasn’t cooking a big Thanksgiving feast this year, I had nothing to do but catch up on some shows on DVR, read the book I bought last week, and troll the internet for inappropriate reading.

I read several stories on the Literotica website. That further fueled the fire within. Eventually, I hit CraigsList. I hadn’t visited there in a very long time, at least not the Personals section. I didn’t really expect to find anything worth pursuing as there rarely is. It mostly seems to be “straight” guys looking for male on male interaction. Last night though there was an ad that very much intrigued me, a 30-something guy looking for a BBW.

Seriously?  Sounds too good to be true.  I read it and thought about it but rejected the idea of responding to it. I perused several other ads, some quite entertaining, some not so entertaining. I kept going back to that one ad. He’s looking for a BBW for good times on the down low, and he is willing to host at a local hotel.

Hmm…
I debated…
I went back and forth in my mind…
I wrote an email response…
I hesitated sending it…
I attached a naked photo of myself (from behind, nothing to reveal my identity)…
I considered deleting the email and not sending it at all…
Well, you know where this is leading…

I held my breath and hit Send.

Within an hour I had an email in response to mine. He’s interested and happy to meet me in a public place as I had requested. He even gave me his full name (yes, I know he could have lied). When I googled it I found out he was one of three people – two of whom are in states far from here, and one who lives in this area, is an English teacher in a local school, and played a couple of seasons of football (better if it had been basketball, but then again an athlete is an athlete, and who thought I’d ever get a jock to do me) for my favorite college team back in the day (like back when they actually won more than one game in a season). So now I have a picture of him so (a) I know he is quite handsome and (b) I’ll know when I see him if he’s really who he says when we meet.

We exchanged a couple more emails before it got so late I had to go to bed since I have to work today. Hopefully, we’re having lunch today. I have to confirm it later this morning.

Perhaps because I watch too much Law & Order or perhaps because I watch too much news, I am nervous about what could happen. Just because I’ve always been okay in the past doesn’t mean it will always be that way. Every time I do this I feel like I’m just pushing my luck that much further, and I fear that the odds will someday catch up with me.