Thursday, March 15, 2007

Down the Rabbit Hole

Proving yet again that I am totally and completely irresponsible, my life just continues to get weirder. I definitely bring it on myself. It has everything to do with the choices I make and little to nothing to do with luck, chance, serendipity or rabbits dragging me on adventures.

I went out on a date with a woman last night. (Oh heck, let's go ahead and assign her a letter since we hit it off so well. Let's see, what letter haven't I used? Hmm, let's go with V for no other reason than it has been as of yet unused.) V and I met at a Mexican restaurant for dinner. We spent a couple of hours over dinner getting to know one another. She is quite talkative which make it easier on me. I don't even think she noticed my shyness. We have a lot in common. V is very cute, and I was certainly turned on by her. Funny thing is that while I kind of understand the dating/mating ritual when dating guys, I'm pretty clueless with another woman. It is so different dating a woman than a man. Wow. No wonder guys have a hard time understanding women. Their signals are so much different from men's, much more subtle and confusing. Sheesh! So we talked about many things -- family, kids, jobs, California (we've both lived there), men. We both seemed very much at ease with each other. There I sat, chatting and laughing and having a good time. In the back of my mind I'm thinking will she invite me to go home with her? Should I invite her to my home? Will I scare her off if I'm too forward or frustrate her if I'm not forward enough? I tried to push all those thoughts away and just enjoy the conversation.

Finally, we'd stayed at the restaurant about as long as we could, lingering over dessert (We shared a brownie sundae concoction. Yummy!), taking our time paying our checks, sitting for some time after all was squared away. The waitress probably breathed a sigh of relief when we finally got up to leave, opening our table for her next customers. I left her a generous tip for taking so long. So V and I walked out of the restaurant together. The weather had turned rather nasty while we were eating, and we were welcomed with cold rain and wind in our faces as we walked outside. V thanked me for a lovely evening and suggested we get together again soon. I said yes we definitely should. V and I hurried off to our own cars and drove away. That was it. That was the date. I was home before 8:30. Since then V emailed me, and we are planning on going out to the movies next week sometime.

There is no good reason for me to start a relationship with a woman right now. Having just decided that I can't leave W, I should be focusing on making that decision work. But I'm not. As a matter of fact, I'm doing just about everything I can to undermine that decision: dating, continuing to talk to BJ daily. Running out of time so I'll talk about the BJ side of this equation in another post. (Oh no, another cliffhanger.)


freebird said...

Biting my nails here! Take care, TS.

Fiona said...

It's a normal human emotion to do things to trip ourselves up after we decide on plans we're not 100% sure of :)

I think it has to do with delaying the inevitable for as long as we can.

BJ said...

Oh I get my own side of the equation? Cool. But I don't know if I care for cliffhangers. ;-)