Birthdays

So far so good on staying away from J. It was hard though because J’s birthday was this week. I was very, very tempted to call him that day, but I didn’t. What I did do is I went ahead and let an ecard go to him that I had set up about a month ago (before I had agreed to cut ties to J). I had set it up early because I didn’t want to forget his birthday. I could have cancelled it, but I chose not to. I know I probably should have, but I would have been that much more tempted to call had I not known the ecard was there.

W’s birthday is next week. What is it with me and men born in June? Taurus isn’t even supposed to get along with Gemini. Maybe that’s my problem. I keep picking men with incompatible zodiac signs (not that I actually believe in horoscopes, well not entirely).

It is ever so much easier to say “Put J out of your mind” than it is to actually do it. Damn it, I wish I didn’t love him. Whenever he comes into my thoughts I tell myself all the negatives about him and remind myself why he and I would never work in a long-term relationship. And yet, I still love him. Damn.

Damn, damn, damn.