Sunday, November 18, 2007

Healthy Insanity

I received this in an email the other day. I've seen it before, but it's better than a lot of the bullshit emails that get forwarded to me via wellmeaning friends. I am particularly fond of #1, 7, 11, 14 and 17.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Share This With Someone To Make Them Smile.

It's Called ... therapy.


Bunny said...

I'm so doing #1 and #7 starting today . . .

Serenity said...

See, this is the kind of thing i love getting forwarded to me. It's the sappy crap that annoys me. I always want to ask, you want fries with that? when i'm doing a portrait order. Mwhahaha. :)

freebird said...

Thanks TS. What a great start to my Monday morning - I really did LOL at those :-D

Trueself said...

Bunny - Oh yes, you should definitely give those two a try. Let me know how that goes.

Serenity - I'm with you. I love getting this kind of thing sent to me. I hate getting the sappy crap, particularly the ones that doom me to disaster if I don't forward it on to others. Hmm, perhaps that's why my life sucks sometimes. Blame it on me not forwarding stupid emails!

FB - Glad I could help give your week a good start.