Deepest Darkest Thoughts: OH.MY.GOD

Sunday, September 10, 2006

OH.MY.GOD

Got home from an afternoon with extended family, and found the following email waiting for me:

Trueself,
You and I made an agreement that I was not to contact you unless I had decided to perhaps give you a chance to...well...you know. If you still are in love with me, and you still want to be with me, and I am not too late, then I am ready to give you that opportunity. I had to do what I felt I needed to do. Now, I still feel that I need to do something.

With that in mind, I hope that I am not late. Will you please call me as soon as you receive this email? I really want to talk to you. I propose that we try again for another day soon to meet in xxxxxx or wherever, and you take care of the hotel and I will take care of dinner afterwards. What do you think? We can take care of it however you want. I promise that it is not about a mercy f***, but something that I really want to do...WITH YOU. The "unless and until" has arrived as far as I am concerned. I know this comes as a major surprise, but it is true. We can talk, during, after, or whatever. Will you still be interested? Please call me later, if at all possible.

Love,
J

Whoa. In light of my developing feelings for Z, now what do I do? Boy, to say this comes as a major surprise is the understatement of the year. Holy shit. I am sitting here completely stunned. OH.MY.GOD.

1 comment:

freebird said...: Oh. My. God... indeed! Exciting and maddening. My first thought, true, is to play it cooooooooooool.
I'll be thinking of you.; 9/11/2006 4:55 AM

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Words to Live By

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all exist very nicely in the same box. -- Unknown
Sometimes you just do what you gotta do, mess or not. -- BJ
The power to believe in yourself, is the power to change fate.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Plato
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. -- Matthew 7:1-5

Who's Who in Trueself's World

Trueself (aka TS) - Me, a fat nerdy middle-aged widow with a great job (provided the company stays in business), a great son, and a messed up life
N - My son, my reason for living, the greatest gift God ever gave me besides His own Son
J - My high school sweetheart with whom I share love and the occasional rendezvous
W - My husband, for better or worse; I took care of him until the day he died.
Freud - My therapist
Dr K - My psychiatrist, the one who medicates me when the talk therapy with Freud just isn't enough
Boss - My previous supervisor who used to scare the shit out of me and now I only find mildly annoying on most days.
Snow White - A coworker, also psycho
Betty - A coworker who is practically perfect in every way and more than a little annoying to the rest of us mere mortals
FU - My brother; the initials here may or may not represent what I would like to tell him most of the time
FU2 - FU's wife, my sister-in-law
Bella and Ella - My two nieces, daughters of FU and FU2
Gladys - My next door neighbor whom I've named after the nosy neighbor on Bewitched. They're two of a kind.
RB - Temporary housemate who lived with us while she was separated from her husband.
TS2 - Former housemate who just so happens to have the same first name as I do. She drove W & N crazy, and sometimes me a little bit too, but the extra income from her rent sure helped.
M - FWB from early fall 2009 through spring 2010 when he moved a couple of hours away
BJ (aka Z) - The man I loved who just didn't turn out to be the right one no matter how much I loved him
D - A former coworker and former friend who is in very many ways completely opposite of me. Why we get along is anyone's guess, but we did. . . until we didn't.
C - My bestest best friend I thought, but we've drifted apart
Q - W's girlfriend while he and I were separated
H, K, & S - Guys I met online who shared with me various levels of adult type fun from time to time
G & L - Guys I met online that went nowhere
R & V - Women I met online that went nowhere
T - J's second ex-wife
If an actual name is used instead of just a letter it is generally not the real name but a name made up to protect anonymity.