Am I really going to be able to do this when the time comes? Can I really go get naked with a stranger and have sex with him? Really? Or am I playing some big mind game with myself? Am I going to back out at the last minute?
After today's "lunch" with S I believe I can say: yes, yes, yes, no, and no.
S and I spent my lunch hour in his car in a very deserted parking lot. It was very similar to the lunch hour with H in the park, very, very similar. Except S didn't go on and on about being unsure and uncomfortable and maybe not being able to go through with more. Oh no, S spent the time when not kissing me telling me all the things he wants to do to me when we can. Boy oh boy. L is gonna have to really step up his game to beat S. S can make me absolutely melt into a puddle of desire in no time at all. Wow. Just wow. That's just all there is to say. Wow.