Monday, April 21, 2008

Brought Back Down

Mom called tonight. Dad had his surgery today for the colon cancer. He's in ICU, but she says that's only because of his age according to the doctor. Apparently the surgery went well although they weren't able to take all the cancerous spots out. It appears the cancer is continuing to spread into too many places in his body to cut them all out without jeopardizing his life.

I know I'm not the first person to lose her daddy. I haven't lost him yet. Maybe he can live several more years before the cancer takes him away. Maybe not though. Maybe we don't have much more time. The very thought brings tears to my eyes.

He's only 80. He's got lots of gardening to do yet, and hunting, and Final Fours to watch, and watching his grandchildren grow up. I'm just not ready to let go yet. We were estranged for so many years and only made it back into one another's lives in the last 10 years. We need more time. I need more time. I want to hear his stories one or two or ten more times.

I'm probably overreacting. He's probably going to pull through just fine and live many more years. He's tough, and always has been. He'll fight the good fight. He always does. Or he won't pull through or will last just a short time more, and there will be one more huge thing to deal with.


freebird said...

I feel for you. He may well have more time than you think - just treasure what he has. You'll find strength from somewhere.

Fiona said...

I'm so sorry about this True, I know only too well what it's like. My thoughts will be with you and your dad. Make the most of the time you have with him now, make more time for him. Trust me on that. And always remember, it's quality of life, not quantity. I hope he has lots of both.



Bunny said...

Colon cancer runs in my family so I know how fickle it can be. I'm praying for your dad to pull through and you to find peace.

Take care

Val said...

My thoughts & prayers are w/ya babe.
My own dad turned 79 today; I remember the solemn vow I extracted from him, that I needed him to stick around until my Z is grown! (um, either 8 or 11 more yrs depending upon whether you count 18 or 21 as the magical age)
however, I don't think I was "grown" until about 32 ;-)...

Drama said...

**Tremendous Hugs** I know what you are going through, losing my dad 4 months ago. You KNOW I'm here to listen if you need to talk or vent or just ramble.

Love ya

Trueself said...

FB - Yes, I definitely intend to make the most out of whatever time, long or short, that he still has here.

Fi - I know that you understand well how this sort of thing feels, and like I said to FB I will definitely make the most out of whatever time there is. I will definitely be making more time to go visit.

Bunny - Particularly fickle when you let it go for so long before seeking medical treatment. I think things might have been better had Dad been willing to see the doctor when symptoms first appeared rather than waiting until it got worse. Oh well, can't change history.

Val - I just want Dad around until *I* grow up. I'm 47 and still feel like I've got a ways to go! LOL

Drama - You know me. I'll most likely dump my whines on you in a big way about this just like I do with everything else. (See what you got yourself into by becoming my friend? LOL)