Twilight Zone Continued

After N went to bed last night, W and I resumed our places in our version of the Twilight Zone. He had not (as I expected) been able to pinpoint exact days. I told him what I “recalled” about the three incidents in August and September. He claims the Viagra was taken before bed on the occasion of our middle of the night encounter. He says he just had a feeling something might happen that night so he took two before bed. I asked why he took two. He said that he asked the dr. what if one didn’t work, and the dr. said then take two. I commented that it was quite fortuitous that he just happened to take them the very night that I happened to wake up and not be able to fall asleep. His reply: “Yes, I thought so.” Huh? Wow, guess I’m supposed to believe that this is all just a very lucky coincidence, or maybe that he sensed that I would be horny that night, or what other explanation could there be?

No explanation offered for where the third pill might have gone or when it might have been used. I didn’t even ask. After all, with the answers I had gotten so far, what was the point?

I explained to him that if a wife were to go in search of pills for a headache and run across the information that Viagras were missing, and if she was unaware that the pills had been used at all it could lead to her having certain suspicions. He said that yes, he could see that. That’s all he said. Nothing further. No assurances that those suspicions would be unfounded. No denials. Just acknowledgement that he could understand a wife having such suspicions.

He did offer that he didn’t think it was important for him to let me know when he chose to use the Viagra, but that if I wanted him to tell me that he would in the future. I was dumbfounded by this. Of course I would want him to tell me. Shouldn’t this be something that we would talk about? Wouldn’t we discuss that we want to have sex in a little while so why not use some of the Viagra? Doesn’t that make sense? Again I must ask: am I the crazy one here? Am I the only one that thinks that’s how it should be? Well, at least in this relationship I seem to be.

Throughout the entire discussion W was very calm, very at ease, never rattled or angry. W claims to want to make our marriage work, yet he seems hesitant to do the very things that might make it work. It seemed odd to me. Somehow, it made me want to find the movie Gaslight and watch it again. I haven’t seen it in a long time, but I’m thinking maybe I ought to.

All of this made it just a wee bit easier to call a divorce attorney this morning and schedule an appointment for next week.