Monday, April 30, 2007

Weekend With W, Part I

Sometimes posts are easy to write. The words just flow out of me.

Sometimes posts are difficult to write for various reasons. Sometimes it is because of my confusion over my feelings. Sometimes it is because I can't find the words to express the feelings. Right now it is because I am struggling with my feelings, struggling to figure out what I need to do based on my feelings.

Let's just start with the weekend with W. He arrived Thursday night. As I suspected he would he got lost on the way to my rental house. Granted he hasn't been here a lot, but he has been here 3 other times, one for a whole week for goodness sake. It isn't that hard to find. Really, it isn't. But like the good traffic controller I talked him in after he lost his way, and he only took one wrong turn while I tried to direct him in. I suppose some would find this an endearing quality. I try to take it with good humor.

Friday started on a bad note. Rather than rolling over and going back to sleep, he got up when I did, getting in my way while I got ready for work. I suppose this wouldn't have been such a big deal in a larger place, but really there isn't much room here to move around. So I got a bit annoyed. Later, he tried 9 times, yes NINE, to call me at my desk at work within one hour. I was at another person's desk for training all morning. Not once did he try my cell phone. If he had I would have answered and could have answered his questions regarding the paint colors for the bedrooms. Turns out he didn't need that information until the afternoon anyway so I met him for lunch to help him make sure he gave the painter the right information. I wrote it all down so there should be no misunderstandings. The rest of the day was okay, and that evening while W dozed in front of the TV I chatted on Yahoo with BJ.

Saturday was the day that gave me the most trouble in some ways. W and I got along really well on Saturday. We both slept in until 10:00, a luxury I rarely get. Then we got up and at a leisurely pace dressed and went out for breakfast. After breakfast we went over to the new house. We measured the windows that are in need of in curtains or blinds. We looked at the backyard with an eye for fencing more of it for the dog than the tiny dog run that it has now. We talked some about furniture placement. We then went shopping. We bought some valances, some blinds, some bathroom accessories for N's bathroom, and lots of switchplates and outlet covers to replace the ones that have had paint slopped all over them from prior bad paint jobs. Afterwards, we were tired and hot and went and had iced tea. We looked through our to do list, made notes of what still needs to be done at some point and decided to go to Sears to look at washers and dryers. An hour and $2,000 later we had a new washer and dryer and were ready for dinner. We went out for dinner. Over dinner we talked about how this had been the best day we'd spent together in a long time. He reached for my hand across the table, and I didn't pull away. Saturday I got one of those increasingly rare glimpses of the man I fell in love with more than 20 years ago.

Hmm, this is getting long. I think I'll tackle Sunday and my analysis of the situation in a Part II post. After all, everybody loves a cliffhanger. . .


Anonymous said...

How dare you. I would never leave a cliff hanger in any of my posts. ;) Isn't it strange how the good days can almost be worse than the bad ones?

Trueself said...

FL - Oh great king of the cliffhanger, I could never aspire to be as great as you!
Yes, just when you think you're justified in your negative feelings towards the person and/or situation they go and act real nice for a day and magnify the guilt and struggle. Aarrgghh.

mia said...

I can't wait to hear more.