Tuesday, July 03, 2007


With the overwhelming deluge of questions coming my way (can you sense the sarcasm here?), I picked and chose and finally decided to answer all three of them. ;-)

Question #1
Thanks Serenity for this question, a two-parter but really one question I think.
What if leaving W means you will be alone?
If leaving W means I will be alone then I will learn how to be on my own, and that might be the very best thing for me. It would give me the chance to prove to myself that I can indeed handle being an adult, a parent, a fully functioning human being.
Are you comfortable with that thought or does your post-future imagined world always include BJ?
Although my post-future imagined world does include BJ, I have given thought to the possibility that it won't include BJ. I have to include that in my thinking because there are myriad things that could stand in our way of being together: BJ not finding a job here, his kids hating me or N hating BJ enough that we can't be together in a permanent kind of way, BJ getting tired of waiting for me, on and on. Yes, I have thought of all these things, and although I am hoping, very strongly hoping, that things will work out for BJ and me I do recognize that it isn't a certainty.

Question #2
Thanks to Freebird for this one.
Some time ago, before you moved into your temporary accommodation, you expressed concerns about the practical problems you might encounter living on your own. Having actually spent some time in your own place, how do you feel about those fears now?
I still have my occasional doubts. However, that time alone helped me a lot, and gave me the confidence that I can indeed handle the practical problems even if I'm not thrilled about doing it. I learned that I can even fight against the dreaded phone phobia when I must. While I'm not completely comfortable with my competence to handle certain things, I am much more confident that I CAN if I MUST so it isn't quite as scary to split from W.

Question #3
Thanks to Finished Last for this less intense question.
Where would you like to go on vacation someday and why?
I've got two answers for this one.
The first answer is Paris because BJ wants to go there. Although Paris was never high on my list of places to visit BJ dreams of going there and so I know I would enjoy it because I would enjoy watching the sparkle in his eyes as he visits there.
The second answer is Puerto Rico. I've been there before, and it is a beautiful island. For me it is just the right combination of exotic and familiar, enough U.S. to make me comfortable and enough tropical paradise to make me feel like it is another world. I love the old architecture in San Juan, the beaches, the weather, the whole thing. I can't think of anything I didn't love about Puerto Rico. (No, they don't pay me to advertise for them, but maybe they should, eh?)


Al Laddin said...

Here's one YOU can hit out of the park:

What role does your spirituality play in your life, how does it relate to your sexuality, and how is being spiritual helping you through this trying time.

("The pitch...[KA-RACK!!]...she connects...IT'S OUTTA HERE!!!!")

Trueself said...

Al - You don't believe in cutting a girl any slack, do you? ;-)

That's okay. I'm up for it. I will answer your questions in another post. It may take me a few days to get the thoughts together just right, but I'll get there.

Wouldn't want to disappoint you and pop out in left field.

BJ said...

Hey you two, get a room. I'll bring the video stuff. ;-)

Trueself said...

Down, BJ, down. . .


Serenity said...

Thanks for answering. I guess i think it's important to make such a big decision for yourself first and foremost. Seeing you both unhappy and seeing such a fractured picture of a marriage is not good for N, and it's because of that that i think you can put your needs first in this situation. I think i'm wandering here. I'm tired. :)

freebird said...

Thanks TS. I think I knew the answer from your posts, but it's good to hear that you feel you've made progress in overcoming those fears. I'm sure that competence will come with experience, at least you now have the confidence to try. Congratulations! (Encouraging for me too!)

Al Laddin said...

You guys!!!!