Two Ways to Look at Everything
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
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And in other news, you've no doubt noticed that I've not been responding to comments lately. At first, I just wasn't reading them. Didn't want to know what anyone had to say. Finally, last night after a mighty fine Top Shelf Margarita at dinner I did read them but was a bit too drunk (yes, that's all it took to get me drunk enough for a hangover this morning) to respond to them in any coherent way. As a matter of fact, I should probably go back and read them sober. Now I will be away for the weekend, in the land of the Luddites (aka my parents' house) where there is no internet so I may not get around to responding to your comments. It doesn't mean that I don't appreciate your comments. I do. Please, keep commenting. Eventually, I'll straighten up enough to respond to them again.
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Oh, and one more thing. I just had to remind myself that I already have the speech all laid out for the big talk, right here. Duh. Why didn't I go back and reread this a couple of days ago? Gotta keep reminding myself. Gotta stay focused. Gotta channel my inner supreme hard ass bitch. Gotta do this. . .
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2 comments:
K, I gotta play devil's advocate here, and say, maybe leaving isn't the right thing at this time. If you were as well and truly done with W as you need to be to end the marriage this might not be this hard. Are you pushing yourself to do something that part of you feels isn't the right thing to do right now?
Ask yourself what you are getting out of the relationship. Are these the things holding you back? Can you see yourself living without those benefits, whatever they might be? When you can, when you finally feel so done with W and the marriage, is when leaving will not be the tortuous endeavour it is right now.
I think you will get there eventually. Stop being so hard on yourself. You'll regret acting without adequate thought, so cut yourself some slack, woman. This isn't easy, what you are contemplating.
Hey TS, I've been following your story, but this is my first comment. You are having such trouble starting this conversation. Why not write him what you want to say? You have no problem in front of the keyboard. It isn't as scary. You can sit, write it exactly as you want, and then hand it to him. Then, if you don't want to sit there as he reads it, tell him to read it, to take 30 minutes and then meet you at the kitchen table or some other "safe" place.
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