Sunday, February 03, 2008

So Go Already

So W is making no move to go anywhere. He is also refusing to speak to me, only answering questions with a minimal amount of information. The most he has said is that when I tell N (he's insisting I must tell N since I want this and W doesn't) I am to make it very clear that it is MY decision to end this marriage, not his. Hey, not a problem buddy. I don't want to be a nag or a bitch, but geez, I've told you to get out so get out already! Or give me some idea of what you are planning to do. Something. Anything besides sitting in the office playing on your damned computer like you do every single day of your life.

Oh, and to clarify the going to sleep thing last night, W did stay awake for much of the talk. We were at a point where I was letting him ask questions, and I was answering (though not giving the answers he wanted). In between an answer from me and his next question, there would be silence, utter and total silence. During one of these silences he dozed off. I saw the eyelids drooping, and eventually the snoring began. Now it was not awfully late when this happened, no later than 10:00 p.m., and he hadn't gotten up early yesterday. He had slept until a little after 9:00 a.m. I just can't imagine how you could have a talk like that and fall asleep in the middle of it. I guess I would have at least expected some kind of close to the discussion.

I did give myself a little treat last night after I went to bed. I opened the toy drawer in my nightstand and gave myself a nice time. It's been months since I've done that. Boy oh boy, it won't be months before I do it again. How long is it until bedtime anyway?

One other thing for now, I put a profile on listing myself as separated. I did that on Friday night and already received an email yesterday from a guy. I really don't think he's a keeper, probably due to his distance from me (2 1/2 hour drive) more than anything else. Also, he's nine years younger than I am so I'm not so sure about that aspect either. On top of everything else, I mostly went to just to get an idea of who's out there available rather than looking for a relationship right now. Oh well, nothing wrong with a little email exchange, getting to know him I suppose. I know conventional wisdom would have me waiting a few months at least to get over the breakups before dating again. Then again, when have I ever followed conventional wisdom?


freebird said...

"conventional wisdom would have me waiting a few months..."

Maybe, but no harm in looking, is there? And a little distraction always helps. Just be careful out there!

Val said...

You're braver than I am for just gettin' out there...
I'm so burnt out I could just squat in my [theoretical] hermit's shack for God-knows-HOW-long!

Trueself said...

FB - Oh yeah, I definitely need the distraction right now.

Val - Me? Brave? You know, there's an awfully fine line between brave and stupid.