Sunday, February 17, 2008

W Stands for Weary Whining

I am so terribly conflicted these days.

I am incredibly happy when I'm on my own. I am relaxed. I am content. I am enjoying myself. I am having a good time with N.

I feel incredible guilt when I'm around W. He never fails to mention how sad he is or how tough this all is on him or something just as guilt-inducing. He gave me a sappy overly sentimental card on Thursday and had two dozen tulips delivered to me on Friday. On the card that came with the flowers he said that he would continue doing these kinds of things for me for the rest of his life. I hate that he's doing these things, but I'm trying to take the high road so I just thank him for them rather flatly without any reciprocation. Bleah.

He insisted that this weekend I take full care of N and allow him his freedom as I had mine last weekend. I didn't mind that at all except I didn't like the way he said it, as if it was his way of getting back at me or something. I think it bothered him that I never asked what he was doing this weekend. All I asked was whether he would be staying here at the house or not, and he refused to answer. I assumed, wrongly it turned out, that he was not going to be here so it surprised me when he walked in around 9:00 p.m. on Friday night. I wonder if he realizes that he is making it impossible for me to consider allowing him to continue to stay here. Act cordially and all could be fine. Act like a sniveling brat, and I'm going to get just way too frustrated to let you stay.

He finished our 2007 taxes last night and asked me to review them. It was fairly late in the evening, and I was fighting sleep. I told him I'd look at them today. He wasn't too happy with that, but good grief I'm not going to review tax forms when I'm sleepy. They are tough enough to understand fully awake. Sheesh.

Humorous Pictures
moar humorous pics


Drama said...

I know you know this but I think it bears's called MANIPULATION. He's doing anything in his power to make you feel guilty, to make you miss him, to make you feel regretful. Just remember, you are stronger and better than that. We've talked about it...just hold onto the good feelings when he's gone. The ease and comfort that you enjoy in your relationship with N when W is not around. That feeling of overwhelming peace that you feel when you're ALONE. That is how it will be when this is all over with. Hold onto that. You can do it!!!

Oh and um...CALL ME. LOL


Summer said...

I couldn't have said it better than Drama. Be strong.

Trueself said...

Drama - Indeed the manipulation is running rampant these days.

Summer - Trying to stay strong. Thanks.