Sunday, June 24, 2007



  1. BJ had to leave today.

  2. I didn't get to see BJ this morning before he left.

  3. When I tried to discuss rationally our problems with W he suddenly turned too damned nice, and pathetic, by saying, "I know things aren't the greatest but I try to just accept things as they are and be glad I have you and N."

  4. When I was getting out of the car when we returned home after having taken N to the park for a couple hours I got a little back spasm. When I said something about it, N said, "No you don't. You're just using that as an excuse." I don't even have a clue what he meant by that, but it hurt my feelings.

  5. The one symptom of PMS I haven't been able to gain a level of control over is crying.


Serenity said...

Let 'er rip, honey. It feels better to let it out than to try to keep it in. Marginally so, but better.
So sucks to be a girl doesn't it...
(oh and p.s. what W said doesn't cut it and i hope you see that too. Pathetic is the word alright)

Fiona said...

He's pushing buttons TS and after that long together, he knows where they are and when to push them.

The crux of it all is him saying: "I try to just accept things as they are". THAT is what he wants you to do hon.

He's content with it all the way it is. You on the other hand are very actively NOT content.

I hate the emotions of the menstrual cycle, too. Be strong, it's just a few days.


Trueself said...

Serenity - I agree that a good cry can be therapeutic so that's kind of what I went for yesterday afternoon. I try to do my crying in private whenever possible, but N walked in while I was crying and asked me why I was crying. I was so choked up I couldn't even talk.

Fiona - I realized afterwards that he was trying to get me to accept things as they are. It is clear to me that he will not change nor is he willing to meet me anywhere close to halfway.

Steff said...

Your husband saying that things aren't good, but he's just going to accept it (as opposed to trying to make things better) is him being damned nice? Trueself get yourself out of this relationship!

My mom has a lot of back pain and I can say from experience that kids aren't always nice and sympathetic to true pain. Sometimes kids are just hurtful.

Val said...

Ugh, rottenness (sp?) all the way around -- PMS, W & N's attitude (but at least you can cut N some slack bcz he is ONLY A CHILD), BJ leaving...
Hell I'm just going to forward you a lovely email my ex sent me, chastising ME for Zach not enjoying his summer visitation! It is amazing how his tiny treacherous mind works sometimes...
XOXOXO my dear!

Trueself said...

Steff - Yes, that was him being damned nice, as nice as it gets. I think he feels defeated and really is just trying to make the best of things. There's a part of me that just can't help but feel sorry for him.

Val - Went and read your email. Good grief, he really bends over backwards to try to make himself out the good guy doesn't he?
And thanks for the sympathy and understanding.