Mr E can't think of himself. He is basing his life's decisions on how they will affect other people, not his own happiness. He thinks he won't be able to live with himself knowing that he's devastated Mrs E and taken her home away, but he can't live with what it will do to me if we split. That worries me. He goes into a loop with the two sides of the question and then his brain shuts down and he thinks he's heading for a nervous breakdown.
Okay, go back and substitute TS for Mr E, W for Mrs E, BJ for Freebird. It applies just as well.
Oh, and something my EAP counselor said to me yesterday that hit home (and yes I know many of you have said similar things and had it fall on deaf ears):
You made promises to him, but he made promises to you too. There is nothing wrong with standing up and insisting that your needs be met too.
Oh and one last little thing of no consequence whatsoever. Here's what happens when accountants try to doodle: