Getting Down to Details

Yesterday morning, me to him

J,

It's possible that I could get together either April 29 or 30, but I wanted to check with you first before I make plans. Do either of these days work for you, and what time would work well? As far as where to meet, do you want to come to xxxxx, or me come to yyyyy, or should we meet somewhere in the middle? Let me know your thoughts.

Love,

Trueself

Last night, him to me

Hi Trueself,
I really don't know. I have as far as I know no plans either day, unless I attend church Sunday morning like I usually do. Anyway, I don't know of a whole lot of places to meet in yyyyy. I could come that way, or we can meet in zzzzz or something. Whatever you want to do...I'm kind of free to do whatever at the moment. Let me know any more thoughts.

Love,
J

Last night, me back to him

J,

I will try to figure out someplace around zzzzz where we could meet. Let's plan on Saturday, April 29, in the early afternoon. We can firm up exactly where and when before then.

Love,
Trueself

So here I am, ready to step into the abyss in a little more than a week.

Part of me thinks that there isn't anything wrong here. We're just going to talk. I'll learn where I really stand, what J really wants out of this. It doesn't mean anything wrong has to happen.

Then there's this other part of me that feels like I've already committed adultery just through the deception of the email exchange, planning to meet in secret, wanting J with such strong feelings.