Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Break Up

Have you seen this movie,the one with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn? I hadn't until last night. Boy do certain aspects of that movie ring true for me. Maybe I'll expand this post later. No time right now.

Thanks to a slow running data warehouse query I had time to flesh out this post this afternoon.

It was interesting watching the movie with W last night, sitting as we often do on opposite sides of the room, about as little like a couple as two people in one room can be. The movie is about a couple who break up, and the ensuing angst and pain and frustration. Now, if you asked W I’m sure he would say the movie wasn’t all that good or interesting or even relevant to our lives in any way. I, however, found myself riveted to it and watched with fascination as I saw bits and pieces of my life appearing before me in various scenes. When it was over I asked what he thought of it, and he grunted some and said it was okay he guessed. I chose not to pursue the conversation further as it was bedtime anyway.

Here are the three big things that slapped me in the face from this movie:

Communication & Miscommunication
Boy oh boy could I relate to this concept. It was interesting to me that at several points in the movie Aniston’s character and Vaughn’s character are trying to communicate a message to one another and missing. Why? Because they aren’t addressing things head on but in a round about “here’s my strategy” kind of way. I am so often guilty of that if it were a crime I’d be on death row by now. I mean one thing. I say something else trying to lead my victim at the time into understanding what I want/need/care about. More often than not, my poor victim is clueless and then I’m pissed off because I didn’t get what I wanted/needed/cared about. Guilty as charged, Your Honor.

Crying Woman/Clueless Guy
The scene that occurs in the bedroom after the concert where Vaughn’s character never shows up (due to that miscommunication thing above) is so me with BJ. After not getting what I want I end up crying, and he starts off clueless only to figure out why I’m upset later. Or else he asks if this is why I’m upset, and I have to explain that he is way far off and what the reasons really are. Man, when I watched that scene in the movie I thought somebody had been spying on me to get the idea and dialogue.

Light Bulb Moment Too Late
Vaughn’s character finally gets it. The pieces come together for him, and he tries to make amends. He makes dinner complete with fresh flowers in a vase on the table. He shows Aniston’s character that he does finally get it. He has heard her and understands and sees his part in the problem and starts to work to make things better. The only problem is that it has come too late. Aniston’s character has already given up and moved on psychically, even though not physically yet. I sure see W in this one, and I wonder if BJ won’t have that moment someday. C’mon guys. Get on board when you’ve got the chance. The train doesn’t wait indefinitely. In W’s case it’s already down the tracks. For BJ, it’s engine is stoked and is almost ready to pull away from the station. If he waits much longer to have that moment, he’ll have missed it altogether.

Oh, and the other thing about this movie that I thought of a few times while watching is that I remember last year when it was in theaters that J told me that T, who had already kicked him out and was in the process of divorcing him, took him out for his birthday and took him to that particular movie. He was not amused. Why does that thought bring a smirk to my face?


Selena Kitt said...

Great movie... quite powerful and real in places... Vaughhn is so underrated as an actor :)

Serenity said...

He is surprisingly good in this movie. I don't like her, the skinny cow, but i really thought the movie was good. So get writing, Tru, tell me what rang true for you.

Trueself said...

SK - I agree about Vaughn being underrated. I've been guilty of that myself in the past, but he really was excellent in this movie.

Serenity - You know, there was one scene where she was standing in profile and my overwhelming thought was "OMG EAT SOMETHING!" She was so thin I could barely see her.

Also, I finished writing my post now so I'll expect a new comment from you soon.

Anonymous said...

I have not seen the movie, but I will comment that I am way not on board the whole "guys get on board when you have the chance". Sorry, I am all about the relationships are two way streets thing, and any person of any gender expecting the other one to read minds or get clues totally strikes me as wrong. If you want something, then say so, and if the best a person can do is leave little hints, they why do they have the right to get upset (or angry), and put the other person through all kinds of crud for not getting the hints?
Ok, just saying.

Val said...

I will put it on my Netflix list, but I tell ya, I CANNOT STAND THAT JENNIFER ANISTON!!!

Trueself said...

SM - I understand what you are saying, and I agree that nobody should be expected to be a mindreader. My comments about getting on board while the chance is there is more in reference to my own situations where I have (just recently as in the last couple of years, I'll admit I wasn't always) been bluntly honest about what I need and want and not gotten it. All I've gotten is put off and asked to be patient and understanding. With W, now that he is trying a little harder, only half heartedly but harder than before, I find that I've already moved on in my mind and my heart. I'm not in this marriage any more in any substantial way except legally. The train has left the station. I just don't think we could get it back no matter what we tried at this point.

Val - But how do you really feel about Jennifer Aniston? ;-)