Thursday, October 11, 2007

Recurring Thought

You know what really pisses me off?

He wouldn’t cut back on his beer consumption for me, but he will entirely give it up for lap band surgery. How fucking messed up is that?!?

Sorry, obsessing again. . . or yet. . . whatever.


Jaded Bunny said...

Are you seriously that delusional?

It's been said before, he's just not into you.

It's sad how you simper after him.

Move on.

Bunny said...

Ok, Jaded was a bit harsh there.

I kinda see where BJ was coming from though. He won't do it for you, but he'll do it for himself - which is who he should be doing it for. KWIM? My husband wants me to lose weight and exercise and the more he hounded me about it the more I resisted. But I'm doing it now (and I love the exercise now, I really do) and I'm not doing it for him, I'm doing it for me. When I tried doing it for him, I hated it. Doing it for me makes all the difference. Make sense?

Anonymous said...

bunny is definitely on top of this one. Doing things for other people just doesn't work. Exchanges work to some degree (work for a paycheck is a good example). Other than that, people just have to do what they do for themselves (get off drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, etc, etc).
If anyone ever figures out how to make love (or lust) enough to really motivate someone to an action (like giving up something) - my wife would like that bit of information.

Trueself said...

JB - Yep, I am seriously that delusional.

Bunny - Don't be hard on JB. She means well I think. You are absolutely right in your analysis of the situation and intellectually I know all of that. It's the emotional side of me that I was venting here.

SM - As I say this was just a bit of venting. I do understand that love isn't enough to make people change. I also believe that people are who they are and should be accepted that way. On the other hand, I do tend to vent here the things that run through my head that aren't appropriate to say out loud. Could be why I called the site "Deepest Darkest Thoughts."

Serenity said...

Oh honey the thing is, he's so not going to cut back on the beer, he is seriously fucked with that whole surgery thing, and i gotta stop commenting over there on his blog because i cannot keep my mouth shut.

You're not obsessing, but just working through some shit. I'm doing it too, I just haven't written it out.. yet...

It's not that he isn't that into you, he's just waaaay more into himself right now. Say it with me dear: "other fish in the sea..." You know you've got it going on, i think you'd realize that if you got out there into the dating pool a bit. Carefully-- i just remembered you're still married, *evil grin.*

Trueself said...

Serenity - You are right. He is seriously fucked, and I am working through some shit. Absolutely. And sometimes it just ain't easy to work through.

freebird said...

Just a thought to add to the mix (although Serenity has slightly stolen my thunder!)... Do you really think that someone who has to resort to surgery to stop himself overeating is going to have the willpower to stay off the booze?

Anonymous said...

Ah, venting. I have done that once or twice myself. Please don't allow my comments to ever interfere with a good venting session.

Emily said...

Dear Trueself

I know I haven't really commented no this BJ thing, and I'm sorry about that. I have been thinking of you.

As far as I can see (and I only read BJ occasionally), BJ is pretty much obsessed right now with doing exactly what he wants. He thinks he's been deprived for a long time of everything he wants in life, has become desperate that things will always be this way, and is hell-bent on working out how to get what he wants.

There is not much room in that scenario for waiting around for a woman, even a woman he has genuine feelings for, to leave her husband or much room for making the sacrifices involved in helping to raise a child.

I am truly sorry you are suffering, but I just don't see the situation changing for a long time or probably at all.

If it was me, I'd be trying to refocus on my marriage or else moving out and starting a new life by myself, with the opportunity to meet someone else. It's only natural that you miss BJ and wish things were different, but they aren't.

Emily xox

Trueself said...

FB - No I don't think he will.

SM - Worry not, there's not much that can prevent me from venting when I need to vent. :-)

Emily - Nice to hear from you. No things aren't as I would like them, and I'm just working on accepting that. Sometimes I accept it better than others.