Wednesday, October 17, 2007


Well, getting back to my bi side one of the two women on whom I have a crush totally busted me for it today. She sent me an email point blank asking if I have a crush on her. I’m sure this comes from something I said on the group’s message board. Even though I didn’t name any names I mentioned that I had a couple of crushes that were not returned. I’m pretty sure she put that together with some other things to come up with the right conclusion.

Now I am mortified. I did not want to jeopardize the friendship we were forming by giving away how I felt because she has always been pretty plain about us just being friends. I have not responded to her email yet. I need time to think of what to say. I have to address it somehow because I’m already scheduled for her to cut and color my hair this weekend. Awkward does not begin to describe how I’m feeling here.

Being the overreactionary (okay, probably not a real word but deal with it) type, my first thought was to withdraw. Withdraw from her. Withdraw from the bi group. Withdraw into my little psychic shell that I maintain around me for just such times of discomfort. Isolate myself once again from the world.

So here I was at lunchtime sitting in my family room crying over my laptop without a good explanation to W so I just told him all of the above. He gave me his suggestions about how to respond to her. They were pretty good suggestions. He has been very supportive of my relationship with her, has met her and likes her and even approves of her as a girlfriend for me if it were to go that way. Sometimes he’s not half bad.

Crap. There goes life spinning out of control again.

Okay, so you remember how two posts down, just a few hours ago, I said it was going to be a good day? Well, scratch that. It's not. Not by a long shot.


Anonymous said...

True - make this a good day. There is a real good chance that she brought this up because she would like to take that next step, but wants to make sure that really is your interest. It could mean that the idea scares her and she is getting ready to run, but does not want to run without knowing for sure. If the second part is the case, then it means you can truly tell yourself no going there and put more effort into finding another bi-woman.
Your response. Tell her that you got a clear message from her that she only wants to be friends, and tell her that friendship a lot to you and that you do not want to jeopardize it by saying anything that would make her uncomfortable, if there is anything you might feel (still talking to her) that would make her uncomfortable, you are willing to keep it aside or hidden for the sake of the friendship.
Just my thoughts, and with or without any advice I offered, I hope this all works out really well for you.

Nutty Man said...

Hope and pray your Mammogram turn's out negative just like the frigid wifes did monday she was scared for two weeks for nothing.

freebird said...

Just wondering, TS, why you would post something like that on a message board if you didn't want it picked up on... and why she would belong to a bi group if she wasn't up for people having crushes on her.

Trueself said...

SM - I sent her an email saying much of what you said above with my own embellishment of course. Haven't heard back yet but hoping that will do the trick of getting us back on solid ground with each other, either as friends or more, whichever she wants.

NM - Thanks for your continued care and concern.

FB - Don't know what I was thinking, just didn't think I guess. When I posted it on the message boards it was just a small piece of an answer to a general "how's life going for everyone?" thread. I suppose I was thinking too much of myself and not the way others would read it.