Sooooooooooo................
BJ has had a change of heart apparently. He wants me. He wants me enough to work with me on our relationship. He wants to commit 100% to our relationship.
The skeptic in me wonders if it is real. The hopeful me wants very much for it to be real.
My plan now is to go spend next weekend with him, ask some questions, and listen carefully and critically to his answers.
I wonder if he has had anywhere near as many people contacting him to give him opinions and advice on this relationship as I have. I wonder how he came to this decision. I wonder. . .
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
THIS BLOG IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. Anyone under 18 should leave immediately. This blog started as a place to chronicle my attempt at rekindling a long ago romance in spite of the fact that we were both married to others but evolved into a journal of my sexual revolution and now what is hopefully my maturation into a fully functional adult.
Just Who Do I Think I Am?
- Trueself
- A Little Place I Call Home, Midwest, United States
- I'm a middle-aged woman going through a midlife crisis. Sometimes I wonder if I'll live through it. Trying to figure out where I'm going and what I'm doing.
Join The Masses Who Follow Me
Posts
Countdowns
First anniversary of Mom's death.
Words to Live By
- We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all exist very nicely in the same box. -- Unknown
- Sometimes you just do what you gotta do, mess or not. -- BJ
- The power to believe in yourself, is the power to change fate.
- You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.
- Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Plato
- Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. -- Matthew 7:1-5
Thanks Stinkypaw
FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed
Who's Who in Trueself's World
- Trueself (aka TS) - Me, a fat nerdy middle-aged widow with a great job (provided the company stays in business), a great son, and a messed up life
- N - My son, my reason for living, the greatest gift God ever gave me besides His own Son
- J - My high school sweetheart with whom I share love and the occasional rendezvous
- W - My husband, for better or worse; I took care of him until the day he died.
- Freud - My therapist
- Dr K - My psychiatrist, the one who medicates me when the talk therapy with Freud just isn't enough
- Boss - My previous supervisor who used to scare the shit out of me and now I only find mildly annoying on most days.
- Snow White - A coworker, also psycho
- Betty - A coworker who is practically perfect in every way and more than a little annoying to the rest of us mere mortals
- FU - My brother; the initials here may or may not represent what I would like to tell him most of the time
- FU2 - FU's wife, my sister-in-law
- Bella and Ella - My two nieces, daughters of FU and FU2
- Gladys - My next door neighbor whom I've named after the nosy neighbor on Bewitched. They're two of a kind.
- RB - Temporary housemate who lived with us while she was separated from her husband.
- TS2 - Former housemate who just so happens to have the same first name as I do. She drove W & N crazy, and sometimes me a little bit too, but the extra income from her rent sure helped.
- M - FWB from early fall 2009 through spring 2010 when he moved a couple of hours away
- BJ (aka Z) - The man I loved who just didn't turn out to be the right one no matter how much I loved him
- D - A former coworker and former friend who is in very many ways completely opposite of me. Why we get along is anyone's guess, but we did. . . until we didn't.
- C - My bestest best friend I thought, but we've drifted apart
- Q - W's girlfriend while he and I were separated
- H, K, & S - Guys I met online who shared with me various levels of adult type fun from time to time
- G & L - Guys I met online that went nowhere
- R & V - Women I met online that went nowhere
- T - J's second ex-wife
- If an actual name is used instead of just a letter it is generally not the real name but a name made up to protect anonymity.
Where Did You Say That Is?
- LNJ - Where I currently live (stands for Location of New Job)
- LOH - Where I lived before (stands for Location of Old Home)
- ST1 - Small Town 1, where I was born and where my grandparents lived
- TV1 - Tiny Village 1, where I spent infancy and a few years after TV2
- TV2 - Tiny Village 2, where I lived during toddlerhood
- TV3 - Tiny Village 3, where I spent most of my elementary school years
- ST2 - Small Town 2, where I lived during the high school/college years
An Eclectic Mix of Really Fine Blogs
- 2AMSomewhere
- Al Laddin Sayne
- All of Her Secrets
- An East Wind
- Attack of the Redneck Mommy
- Cassandra's Korner
- Code Name D.A.D.
- Crazy in Love
- Dad's Life
- Desperate Husband
- Down the Rabbit Hole
- Emily's Post
- Fade to Numb
- Finding My Way
- Foolish Mutterings
- For a Different Kind of Girl
- Freebird Flying
- Gotta Go My Own Way
- Gray?
- Her Bad Mother's Basement
- Hyperbole and a Half
- I Should've Been Famous By Now
- Illinois Loyalty
- Incurable
- Karin's Korner
- Living in the Kingdom
- Love, Couples, and Kink
- My Journey of Self Discovery
- Never Judge a Book by Its Cover
- Nightside Jonny
- Nutty Man
- Ordinary Guy, Strange Life
- Over Forty Married Sex
- PeaceBang
- Phyllis Renée
- Polyamorously Perverse
- Reality and Redemption
- Running in the Yard
- She Just Walks Around with It
- Spinning in Control
- Stories 2 Tell
- The Eyes Have It
- The Web of Language
- Unsolicited Advice
- Unspoken Drama
- Welcome to the Spectrum
- Will She Be Back?
- randomblink
Deep Dark Topics
- Sex (146)
- Marriage (117)
- Depression (102)
- Mental Health (97)
- Counseling (93)
- Stupidity (89)
- Ramblings (87)
- Love (86)
- Adultery (84)
- Music (74)
- Quizzes (71)
- Emotions (66)
- Family Fun (65)
- Parenting (64)
- Tears (63)
- Health (59)
- Friendship (57)
- Miscellany for no good reason (52)
- Scary Stuff (49)
- Breaking Up is Hard to Do (48)
- Liking Myself (42)
- Human Relations (39)
- Disappointment (38)
- Lists (37)
- History (36)
- Secrets (36)
- Politics (33)
- Whines (33)
- Taking Care of Me (29)
- emails (28)
- Death (26)
- Humor (25)
- It's a Weird World (24)
- Sleepless Nights (23)
- Polls (22)
- Fairy Tales (21)
- Lies (21)
- Moving On (21)
- Confusion (20)
- Frustration (20)
- What I Did on Summer Vacation (18)
- Bi Fun (17)
- Hate (16)
- Addiction (15)
- Taking Advantage of Others (15)
- Bitch Extraordinaire (14)
- Crazy is as Crazy Does (14)
- Insecurity (14)
- Wild Speculations (14)
- Good Times (13)
- Opinions I Ought to Keep to Myself (12)
- Mysteries (11)
- STD (11)
- Weight Weight Don't Tell Me (10)
- Haiku (6)
- Gratitude (5)
- The Moving Story That Wouldn't Die (4)
- OCD (2)
Deep Dark Archives
-
▼
2007
(382)
-
▼
October
(35)
- Happy Halloween
- So How Was Your Weekend?
- Big Dreams - A Meme
- Turn Around
- Well Crap
- Breaking News
- Let's Ring in an HNT
- Bits and Pieces
- Break Up
- Can’t. . . Let. . . Go. . .
- Far Away
- Things We Hide Even From Ourselves
- Evolution
- All's Well That Ends Well
- Busted!
- Things That Make You Say “Hmmm. . .”
- Emotions Anyone?
- My Oh My
- If You're the Praying Kind
- So Much Stupidity, So Little Time
- Question I’m Pondering
- Can't Keep a Good Woman Down
- Unwritten
- Dreams from the Weekend, Part Deux
- Recurring Thought
- Two Dreams from Last Weekend
- How’s My Day Going?
- Celibacy Sucks
- It was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times
- I'm Here
- How Do I Not Care?
- Heartbreaking
- A Plethora of Quiz Results
- Love Lies Bleeding
- Chronic Weakness and Ambivalence
-
▼
October
(35)
49% Geek, 82% Nerd
Makes Sense to Me
You aren't paranoid if people really are out to get you
8 comments:
I read somewhere recently that women should not pay attention to what men say and really pay attention to what they do.
Even as I say this, I still cannot make myself actually do it.
Wonder all you want but what does your gut instinct tell you? What's going to make you feel good, what would make you feel used?
Because my opinion is worth shite, and any opinions he's been given are worth shite. This is between the two of you.
But he likely came to this decision thinking with his little head, not his big one.
Uhave - That's one reason I want to go spend the weekend with him, to see if the actions reflect the words.
Serenity - My gut tells me he is sincere, but I will really get a better feel for it in person I think.
I came to this all on my own.
No opinion, no comment should sway you from whatever path YOU decide. It's your life TS and only you are living it.
I've seen a lot of people tell you not to see BJ, to move on. Only you can, and should, make that decision because it's one you will live with for the rest of your life, no matter which way you go, or what it all turns into.
Own your decisions, own your life.
And good luck :)
BJ - I was just curious. I have wondered what some of your friends have thought of me and what their opinions would be on whether or not I am a good thing for you.
Fiona - Yes, I intend to own my decisions and my life. Obviously, I don't blindly follow opinions given to me by goodness-only-knows-who from the fantasy world of Blogland. I will admit, however, to reading the comments and emails, and listening to the voicemails, with interest. Occasionally, something someone says will make me stop and look at something from a different perspective, see things in a different light than before, but I make my decisions. I own my decisions, for good or for bad. I would never come back and blame anyone but myself for my decisions. (as tempting as it might be sometimes!)
What you realize that I think some readers do not, is that what you read here is but a portion of my thoughts, the portion that I willingly share on the blog. Therefore, I know that any advice given to me here is of limited value for it is based on limited knowledge. Only BJ and I know what our relationship truly is. Only BJ and I can truly make decisions about us.
I'll go along with what you've said just there, TS.
I would just love you to be happy. Perhaps a quick glance at some wise words I posted yesterday might be of some value (not mine of course - as if!).
(Apologies to any folks without the key.)
FB - Yes, I perused those wise words on your blog and will try to take them to heart. May you and I both find the happiness we are seeking.
Post a Comment