Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Paranoia Ensues

I've moved from being excited about a new lover, to nervous, and then on into downright paranoia. I am now convinced that no matter who I pick, no matter how carefully I pick him, no matter how many times I meet him in public, I am going to end up picking some psycho killer who will leave me lying dead in a pool of my own blood somewhere.

The paranoia started after first reading about a 30 year old missing person case locally that has never been solved. For some reason (don't remember what) the police are reopening the case. The woman disappeared after being seen in a bar with a man she just met. Then last night on the news there was a report about the upcoming sentencing of a man convicted of a murder last year of a woman he met at a bar.

Okay, I know, I'm not picking up random guys at a bar. No, I'm picking them up off the internet. Like that is so much safer. Yeah, probably not as safe. At least there is something of a trail if someone off's me. All the police would have to do is get hold of my computer and get the email addresses of the bazillion guys I've heard from. Ha! Now I'm worrying about catching and prosecuting my murderer. Maybe I ought to be worrying more about preventing my murder. Like stop meeting guys off the internet! (What's that? A voice of reason? Shut up.)

So then I'm thinking maybe I should leave some info about those that I'm meeting somewhere, but somewhere where it would only be found if something happened to me. It couldn't be at home because I wouldn't want W to find it if nothing bad happens. This isn't the kind of thing I could tell a friend about so I can't leave the information with a friend. I'm thinking I could leave the information in my top desk drawer at work, on a piece of paper folded in half. Under normal circumstances nobody would pay any attention to it even if they opened the drawer looking for a paper clip or something, but if something happened to me surely someone would find the paper and be able to use the information as a lead.

Let's get this straight then. I've got a plan for how to find and prosecute my murderer, but no intention of doing the obvious thing to avoid it. Right. There you go. Talk about some deep dark thoughts.


John said...

Fascinating story. I've never thought about using craigslist to identify women for an affair. It seems like so much work. Mine happened from chemistry alone, but I guess any method might work. How much info do you put in your craigslisting? I used AFF for awhile but was disappointed with the clunkiness of the interface.

trueself said...

With craigslist you can put as much or as little as you want really. I just gave basic stats like age, marital status, that I'm a BBW (didn't give actual weight until replying to emails), general location in the metro area. Then I wrote a general description of what I was looking for.

My experience is that women posters get a lot of answers. The men I've met with tell me that men posting there get mostly replies from pros or people who want to send them a link to a website or something. So when they see an ad like mine they really jump on it.

Mr. Husbland said...

You should scan their drivers license, birth certificate, and ss card and post it on your blog.

That would keep em in a straight line.

Passionate Man said...

Meet a couple times first in very public places and make sure he doesn't get info that will lead him to your house. Take a cab to the place so he can't see your car license plate.

Before letting him find out where you live or going anywhere you can't scream for help and get it, drop some cash on a PI and do a background check. Your safety is worth a few hundred bucks, right? Good way to screen out marrieds and scammers.

trueself said...

Mr. H,
Why, I do believe I'd scare all those poor men away if I did that, particularly since they, like me, are looking for utmost discretion!

Actually I'm specifically looking for married men, not single, because I'm not wanting anybody to fall in love with but just to have fun with.

A lot of what you say is good advice, most of which I had already thought of except the taking a cab thing. Yeah, that could be good.

And yeah, it would be worth a few $ to check them out. However, unfortunately I have no access to money without W knowing about it. He pays the credit card bills, balances the check book, etc., and he would definitely ask about a few hundred $ expenditure. Definitely. . .

BJ said...

Ahem, did I hear of a woman looking for married men? Craigslist for men is a joke most of the time. There's a knock-off site of that too with dating sections,
AFF is hit and miss for me but it's the best thing going right now. If there was a way to identify women wanting casual sex locally I'll be in hog heaven.
btw I'm in the Midwest. ;-)

Rosie said...

My two cents. I do my interviewing over lunch, after some emails and maybe IMing. And I'm probably remiss in not getting enough info on them. But at lunch, when they walk you to your car, you can ask about were they are parked and get their license plate (though I haven't.) I wait awhile to reveal my real name and even longer to give my last name, if at all. Craigslist here is not much use - very few postings and mostly in their 20s. AAF worked for me. Nice to be pursued (for a time) by 40 men.