- N’s soccer team lost 3 games and ended one in a tie at their tournament this weekend.
- The weather was beautiful this weekend, sunny and hot just like I like it. No matter where I go there are idiots who go on and on about wanting fall weather and how wonderful it is, blah, blah, blah. One of them is going to walk away with a black eye one of these days.
- I have learned that I can bounce from denial to anger to bargaining and back again in oh, I’d say about 30 seconds.
- If I could just stop checking BJ's blog 20 times a day I’d be in a better place.
- If I could stop checking my blog’s stats to see if he’s checked my blog (he hasn’t since September 8) I’d be in an even better place.
- As much as I’m driving myself nuts with all this, I do understand that this is pretty much an inevitable process for me, and I will eventually calm back down to an even keel.
- Part of me is extremely happy he isn’t checking my blog because I’ve been painfully honest here, and I’m not entirely sure I’d be happy with him reading some things I’ve posted in the last couple of weeks.
- I made one more huge step (for me) this weekend. I had arranged to meet one of my friends for lunch on Sunday between N’s morning and afternoon soccer games. Instead of asking W if I could, I simply informed him that’s what I would be doing. Okay, so I’ve done similar things recently, but the big step I made was that I didn’t feel rebellious doing it. It is starting to just feel normal not to ask permission to do things. One might even consider this as part of building the foundation for true adulthood.
- The more conversations I have with women the more convinced I become that (1) I will be able to survive without W, (2) I am not alone in my ambivalence about leaving a long term relationship that has gone bad and (3) I do believe I really am going to get there in my own time, to that place where I can really walk away from him and let him own his decisions on where he goes from there.
And let's top it off with a rhetorical question, shall we? Of course, I knew you'd agree. Thank you.
Why is it the one you don't want will fight tooth and nail to keep you, but the one you do want won't?