Thursday, September 13, 2007

Do I Listen to Me or Me?

Is it good or bad that BJ and I continue to chat on a daily basis?

Rational Trueself (who I must say is just becoming a bit of a pain in the ass) is thinking that it is not a good thing, that it is not doing anything positive except getting my hopes up that something (what?) will change and allowing me to stay in denial.

Dreaming Trueself is thinking that it is a very good thing, keeping the lines of communication open, that perhaps something will change that will allow us to continue a relationship. Maybe, just maybe, he'll see that he wants to be with me so badly that he wants to do what it takes to make it work.

Dreaming Trueself is starting, though, to come around to Rational Trueself's way of thinking. Even she can see that further chats could very well prove frustrating enough to bring her out of denial and into that next fun stage of anger.

And I'm sleep deprived, partially because I chat late into the night with BJ, partially because I don't sleep well when I am in bed.


D said...

TS - Only you know whether it is good or bad and the fact you haven't cut any ties probably leans more to the former. It was meant to be a rhetorical question wasn't it ?

Trueself said...

D - Yes, it was most definitely a rhetorical question.

freebird said...

Hi TS, I'm still paddling along with you... in our twin canoes!