Monday, September 17, 2007

So Where We At Anyway?

I don’t know, time to stop, take stock, look around and see what the status of things is at the moment.

BJ – Still chatting daily. Had to cancel plans for this Friday with him due to the Great Soccer Debacle of 2007. (see further update on that below) Having my good and bad moments when thinking about or chatting with him. Every chat with him leaves me forced to acknowledge that it isn’t ever going to be. Damn. This leads to the update on the:

Grief Process – Heading into the anger phase. Denial still pops his head in occasionally but with less regularity. Anger is moving in to take the reins for now. This is a topic worthy of it’s own post in a day or two as Rational Trueself and Dreaming Trueself rage at each other in my head.

W – Still driving me crazy. Trying to rein him in from being a raging lunatic when we talk to the coach about the Great Soccer Debacle of 2007. And on another front, why, why, why does he have to do things to provoke N repeatedly? If you know flicking water in his face makes him mad, then why do it? What perverse pleasure does W get from doing shit like that?

N – Learned a good lesson this weekend I think due to the Great Soccer Debacle of 2007. I explained that he had every right to be very angry and disappointed over the situation. I also explained that it is short sighted, though tempting, to just get mad and quit. I pointed out that the soccer club has a policy and procedure in place and that we would follow that in order to deal with the situation rather than acting like raging lunatics.

The Great Soccer Debacle of 2007 – Wrote a letter to the coach and sent it via email this morning requesting a meeting to discuss what happened. I wrote it in my most rational, logical manner, expressing that our greatest desire is to work through this situation amicably as we wish N to have every chance to be successful with his soccer endeavors. I outlined the problems I have with the situation and the outcomes that I expect from our meeting, always emphasizing the desire to resolve the situation in a way that satisfies all involved. I’m just going to coolly, rationally, logically push my points until the coach has no choice but to apologize to us. I will not raise my voice. I will not lose my temper. I will however not back down. Mess with me? Yeah, I’ll take a lot. Mess with my son? Watch out, mama grizzly on the loose, but in ninja stealth mode. I’ll take you down before you ever know what hit you.

Anything I haven’t updated here? Don’t think so. Well, I didn’t share what I’m having for lunch today – leftover pizza from last night. Now you’ve got the full update, all that’s true in Trueself’s life.

Oh, and one last thing, to all you people who love autumn and cooler weather and all that shit, SHUT UP! Thank you so much. Those of us who love our warm summer weather would just as soon not be reminded that we're headed into cold dreary winter which we'll have to struggle through to get to spring when the promise of summer is in the air.


Serenity said...

Flicking water? At what, a 9 year old? you write very little that convinces me that N is better off with an intact family, my dear. I fail to see how preserving the parental bond there in the status quo would be a good thing. I find your description of W's parenting alarming. Don't know if it's the full picture but it sure isn't a flattering one...

Trueself said...

Serenity - I fully acknowledge that it isn't the full picture. He isn't all bad all the time, but he certainly has his moments. He thinks it is funny to do things like flicking water in N's face, says N has to learn to toughen up and deal with it. I on the other hand think that home should feel like a safe place, a haven from the cruelties of the real world. Differing philosophies for sure.