Heart Troubles

BJ contacted me tonight on IM. My heart stopped, thinking maybe something was different, maybe something had changed. I couldn't have been more wrong. Apparently, he really just isn't that into me. He was happy to have friendly conversation apparently unaware that everytime we do that it rips a new hole in my heart. So I told him. I told him that with every contact we have it reopens the wound. As long as we are unable to compromise with one another on certain issues then we have to admit that the love is not strong enough I said to him, and he agreed that the love between us is not strong enough to overcome certain barriers.

I told him we have to stop communicating with one another because it is hurting me too much to continue doing so. He agreed that he did not want to prolong my pain so he agreed to end all contact with me. I know, in my head, that this is the very best thing. My heart, however, is not so convinced.

Now with just about anyone else I'd be wondering how quickly he'd crack and contact me. Not with BJ. I know he won't. It's just not in his character to let his emotions rule over his thoughts. Once he stated that he would no longer contact me I knew with certainty that he would live up to that.

Well, guess I better get to bed now so I can toss and turn without sleeping for a few hours.